Reflections - Part 2

Hi again friends.

Now, am finally back in Singapore, seated in front of my home computer. As promised, here goes the second part to my reflections.

Before that, I would just like to share with you hoWw my 2009 started. Well, what happened was my plane left Medan 20 mins before ETD. And arrived 30 mins before ETA. And there I was, happy that I could go back home earlier...And that's when "bad luck" struck.

As I waited for the luggage, I messaged Peter as to how many luggage and boxes I should retrieve. And that's when he replied that he was still in Medan. Flight delayed for close to an hour...and I was like, "Oh man...that means I have to wait for an hour!" What to do.

So, I took all the luggage. So, I went over to T1 from T2 and waited for him. And along the way, I told myself, "No matter what, I am going to start my year 2009 right." So, I changed my state immediately.

Decided to watch the DVD which I bought from Indon, Yip Man. Good thing, the show was great and I didn't feel my time wasted. haha. And finally, Peter came. And he was smiling away. We must be sharing the same thought as to how NYE was turning out.

So, in the end, I only reached home around 1230.

Well, interesting way to pass the NYE. But anyway, it was nice to receive many smses from Dea, DD and even my student from China. :) GREAT!

I picked up Martial ARTS AGAIN!!! WOO HOOO! Rediscovered my passion for the sports. And this time round, through Brazilian Jujitsu and Mixed Martial Arts. The adrenalin rush keeps me young. And I must say, the first few weeks of training, I simply couldn't sleep after the training simply because I was too excited. haha. But it was great.

Sept was the time I ran my first even, Exam Game Intensive. It was great and a program was created to allow students to finally see the "secrets" behind exams and what needs to be done to do well in it. I am going to run two more sessions again in Mar, and so far, the first session is already FULL. WOO HOO again!

Learnt about something really powerful through Ernest and Cecilia (a friend from Malaysia). And will be furthering into it as the potential it has is marvelous. Am sure with this new found Tech, I would be able to reach out to more people.

Went to Medan, and am glad that I have made some great contacts. Now, I will plan to proceed ahead with my 2 plans for personal and financial growth. Soon, my 2 dreams will come true. Am sure that it will materialise in 2009.

I bought a great phone, C902 from Sony Ericsson and WON a Playstation 3. haha. Going to collect it on the 2nd. :) Lucky!

2009 is going to be great. I just know it, and I will create it. I hope that all will be well. Most importantly, I hope that you would take some time to really think about who you want to give thanks to, and think about the magic moments ofr 2008. Attitude of Gratitude.

Before I go, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! May 2009 be a year of fulfilled dreams for you.

Cheers!
Ken

Gratitude - Reflection for 2009

Dear all,

If you have read my two other posts, you would have known that I would always take the opportunity to give thanks to the many people who had made the year special, or a difference in my life. Today, as I am sitting in a little cafe in Sun Plaza, Medan, I just thought that I should complete this before I fly back to Singapore.

Today, I would like to write about the a few special people and events that are of exceptional meaning to me. :)

People

1) I would like to thank my mom for all that she has done for me in the past. Even though she may never understand what I write here, and that she is suffereing from Dementia and that we may not have many more years to go, I am happy that she is still around NOW and that I have still this opportunity to take care of her when I can. Maybe she will not even know what I am doing, but I guess, being able to feed her, buy her her favourite food, helping her around, pushing her on her wheelchair...I still can count my blessing. I love her.

2) My dad has always been an impatient man, sometimes angry. But this period of time, he has shown his love for my mom and taking care of her wholeheartedly. I know that he feels the pain, just as the whole family. Through him, I learnt of the strength of true love and commitment for the other half. Though he may still get upset at times, but he means well.



Events

3) Resolving of personal matters. After 2 years, the problems has been cleared and I am moving ahead into 2009 with a huge and powerful plan. I am sure huge growth awaits. While challenges may arise, but we have also met with many people who are here to support us. 2009 will be GREAT!

4) Conducted a full year of great trainings. Have definitely hit the target of the number of people I want to reach to. Thanks to all the schools and students. Thanks to all the parents and children. Thank you for iving me the chance to working with you.

Well, I am sorry that I have to stop here. As I need to rush off now. I will continue with more.

Before I go, I would just like to ask, "What are your reflections for the year 2009? What were your MOMENTs of 2009?" If you like, blog about it, and let me know. I would love to read about it.

Let's all start the new year with the attitude of gratitude.

Love,
Ken

Time To Relax

Hi All.

You have worked hard for the final Year Exam. So, time to relax.

Have included a funny video which some of you may be familiar with. If not, do watch and enjoy. :)



Cheers!
Ken

A New Earth

Dear Friends.

It is that time of the year where I would be running camps after camps after camps. While I will be very busy, I felt that I must write this for all to read.

Recently, I have gotten my hands on this wonderful book called "A New Earth". While I may have just read through just a quarter of the book, I must say I have agained alot of realisation. I hope to share some insights with you. Note, what I am about to say, is just tip of the ice berg, and I sincerely hope that you would get this book for yourself.

So far in this book, EGO is the main topic. Let me try to give you the definition based on my understanding.

EGO is the identification with FORM.

People naturally seek their own identity through forms. Take for example, some will take their physical possessions, e.g. cars, house, club membership, amount of money in the bank, qualifications, as a way to prove their identify. For this group of people, it is the how big, how much, that matters to them. And they would usually compare what they have with what others have. They will always be comparing, competing with and complaining about what others have that they don't.

For another, they may seek identification through intangible things like acceptance, recognition, sympathy, pity. These people will often ask, am I accepted, how do people think about me, how much do they like me, why don't people know how good I am. 

Interesting to note that, most of the above people are never truly happy with their own lives...note, TRULY happy.

And the reason is simple, there are abundance of people who would be better than us, things which are better than what we own, and if we are constantly seeking these things, we would basically be running a race with no end in sight. 

And most importantly, while they are looking OUT for things which they thought would make them happy, they are forgetting that true happiness comes only from within.

In the past, I would get really unhappy over "small" little things (even smaller now that I learnt to see through them". I would get upset when people say the "wrong" things, "gossip" about me, scold me. I would feel miserable when I comparing myself with others, the cars people have, the houses they own, the amount of money they earn.

Then it was through this realisation that I find, what's the point? Even with the best of medical sciences, the longest I can live up to is 100 years old. And what is this hundred years old in the whole history of mankind, the whole history of earth and the whole history of the universe? I believe, it is just like a small little speck. And therefore, I do not need to prove anything to the world. Rather, the only person which I must really look to for approval, acceptance, care, concern and love from, is within...Myself. 

Thinking back, it has been too long since I celebrated the "life" in myself, the miraculous energy in me that sustains me and how the systems in me that keeps me going.

It would be interesting to note that while the world's greatest scientist may have derived how the world is formed, how the universe can be like, how light works, all about sound waves and yet NOT one scientist has ever been able to explain about the biggest mystery of life. That is, our own body and how it functions. NO ONE CAN EVEN COME CLOSE.

So when you have a whole world of wonderful surprises in yourself, which you own, why do you want to trouble yourself seeking things which you can't even take away when you die?

The miracle, joys, laughters, tears, pains, pleasures, ecstasy, fulfilment...and so much more wonderful things are all found within you. Not from another person, another thing. 

So what if you have the best cars in the whole wide world? So what if you run the biggest corporation in the whole world? So what if you have the most loving spouse in the whole world? If you are "EMPTY" inside, you will not feel anything for those things/people outside.

If you may, take some time to communicate more with yourself. Nurture the "heaven" within you...and you fill find the "earth" around you to be so much better. 

I promise that I will write more about this topic. As I am currently still in the midst of the training, please be patient.

Thanks,

Ken

Simple "Thank You"

Just like to share a wonderful email that Peter received from our past graduate.

Great job, Joanne!


From: Ong Joanne [mailto:joannestar5@hotmail.com]
Sent: Monday, 10 November, 2008 10:51 PM
To: Peter Lau
Subject: Thank you!



Dear Peter Trainer,

It has been a long time that i didnt see the SuperTeen trainers. I want to thank all the trainers and resources who've helped me in the Oasis class because i believe it was all of you that made me to improve so much. And to tell you guys, i got in Triple Science course in my school. I am happy to have gotten in this course. i will continue to make good use of the spidergrams. :) Help me to convey my appreciation to all trainers and resources and Dr Ernest Wong. It's possible because of all of you who made me learn & experience so much that were so valuable in the 5 days camp.

By the way, it's a pity i couldnt help resourcing in the SuperTeen camp this end of year. Coincidentally, i will be at Korea having holiday with my family during that period of time. i couldnt make it in time. Just to ask you, if i could just drop by to take a look of the camp? Hope to get my your reply soon!

Warmest regards,

Joanne Ong, Superteen from the 1st June camp 2008! :D

Last Lap For The Year.

Hey friends who are taking O Levels. ALL THE BEST!

This is your final lap this year.

So for this period of time, JUST STAY FOCUSED and DRIVE YOURSELF just a little bit harder.

After which you will have up to two months break...two months worth of doing almost anything that you want! Hey, it is a great deal. Do a great job for this 2-3 weeks, and you get a returns of 2 months worth of GUILT FREE enjoyment. :) You choose.

Create the results that you want for this last lap. You can choose the outcome for yourself. Take Charge!

Cheers!
Ken

Reverse Engineering.

Dear friends,

Firstly, thank you for registering with my blog. :) I will continue to keep you posted with new articles and updates.

For those of you, who are unfamiliar with the term, let me give you the definition/explanation by Wiki first.

Reverse engineering (RE) is the process of discovering the technological principles of a device, object or system through analysis of its structure, function and operation. It often involves taking something (e.g. a mechanical device, electronic component, or software program) apart and analyzing its workings in detail, usually to try to make a new device or program that does the same thing without copying anything from the original.

During the past few months, in discussing with and showing students how to prepare for their Final Year Examination, I mentioned this phrase quite a bit. Reason being, I strongly believe that RE is what you need to follow, to do well in your exams. Any and every exams. I also believe that RE is what you need to follow, to do well and achieve success in your life.

In my context, I am looking at RE not in the area of technology, but rather, in terms of Psychology. The way of thinking. Let me explain.

Results that are created by anyone, be it Ace Students, successful businessman, Scholars, top sales people, are just the PRODUCT of what they do, how they think, how they feel, and what their habits are.

So, for you to achieve similar results, all you need to do is to perform RE on them, and uncover their "secrets". In NLP, this is also called Modelling.

Of course, the process for performing RE on them is long and almost impossible to perfect BUT, you can still perform it to get similar, or better results. It helps you to save alot of time too.

And so, with the exams is coming up, let's use it as an example to demonstrate how RE can be used to help you get better results, NOW.

To perform RE, you must ask questions. And therefore, here are some questions which I have for you to ponder over. I must say that it is non-exhaustive, but should serve as a good guide for a start. :)

For people who are already doing well in their studies/exams.

1) Who are the people who always top the examinations?
2) What are the results they always achieve? What are the results they aim for?
3) What are their beliefs about exams?
4) What do they think about exams?
5) How do they feel about exams?
6) How do they study for exam?

For the HOW part, you can further break it down by asking:
i) What are their steps for studying, and how many steps?
ii) How do they break down each subject?
iii) What do they look out for when studying each subject?
iv) What skills do they use?

7) How do they prepare for exam?

Try this out with your friends, and classmates who are already doing well in their exams. You should get more clarity on what you need to do, and follow to better prepare yourself.

So, hope this is useful for you. As usual, I welcome all comments and questions you may have about this. I would love to get back to you with the answers you seeks. But remember, ASK the right questions.

Before I leave you, just like to leave you with a quote.

"The Quality Of Your Life Is The Quality Of The Questions You Ask."

Start Asking. :)

Cheers!
Ken

Away In HK!

Dear friends,

I must apologise as I will be away for a week to help conduct the ST camp in HK, followed by an Adult's training program in Msia. So, from 17th to 24th, I will not be able to reply any comments or emails. But I will get back to you once I am able to access the Internet.

Also, if you are interested in the Exam Intensive Workshop (which is GREAT STUFF for students taking Final Year Exam), do email me. Seats are running out for the first day.

Cheers!
Ken

Exam Mastery Workshop

Dear Friends,

This will be an important blog for those who are taking their Final Examination in 2-3 months time. I know that some of you are busy preparing, or busy panicking now. Whichever the case, I would like to share that I am conducting a 1-day Intensive "Exam Mastery Workshop" for all to join. Below is the information. And for all, the usual rate is $150, but now, the EMW is at just $50 (inclusive of one tea break).

Below is the information. Note, as this is a limited seat training, I can only allow first come first serve bookings. So, if you are keen, please hurry.

1-day INTENSIVE

“Exam Mastery Workshop”

Finally, after years of research together with teachers and examiners, the SECRET of exams and HOW TO ACE IT is out! And you can be one of the rare few to be part of this exciting workshop.

NOTE: THIS IS AN ACTION BASED TRAINING WORKSHOP

In this workshop, you will learn the EXACT STEPS of scoring and acing your final year examination. And through following and executing these proven yet simple steps, your results is GUARANTEED*!

Yes, you heard me correctly, GUARANTEED!!!

In the “Exam Mastery Workshop”, you will learn and master:

1. 3 Specific Action Steps
2. Psychology Of Examinations
3. How To Study Each Subject
4. The Art Of "Spotting" Questions with Incredible Accuracy
5. Careless Mistakes No More

Every topic of the “Exam Mastery Workshop” is result-oriented with specific steps for you to follow. Follow these steps, and you will get RESULTS! Unbelievably Simple, BUT TRUE!

Session 1

Date : 1^st Sep 08, Mon

Time : 10am – 5pm

Or

Session 2

Date : 2^nd Sep 08, Tue

Time : 10am – 5pm

Trainer : Ken Koh

Venue : Learning Mastery Training Centre

122, Middle Rd, #07-04, Midlink Plaza, S(188973)

Email to ken.koh@learningmastery.com with the following:

1. Your Full Name
2. Contact Number (for SMS confirmation and notification)
3. Preferred Session

*Results can only be guaranteed when all steps are executed by the participants.

Repost. 2 More Months To Exam!!! What To Do?!?!?!

Dedicated to all students taking the O Levels exam, I sincerely hope that you may get some insight from this article.

YES! The big O is coming. For many of the students, they are filled with the same emotions that hundreds, thousands, ten thousands of students have faced over the past 20-30 over years. Fear, Excitement, Uncertainty, Worry, Enthusiasm, depending on which side of the fence you are standing on.

But, whichever side you are on, I would like to just nag at you a little on the Importance and Benefits of this exam, plus the amount of effort which you need to invest for the mass returns. And I can only hope that you would finally dig out that 0ld, hidden "drive" and "motivation" to do the final dash of the race.

The O level result slip, small as it is (with prints that are even smaller), is a major determinant of your life between 17-25 years old. It determines which tertiary institute you go to (JC, Poly, ITE or private colleges) and this choice would then determine what sort of environment you enter into and what sort of friends you make and mix around with during your tertiary studies. And it would in turn, affect the sort of study life you decide to have, the sort of results you aim for and get. And that would affect the choices you have after your tertiary studies, such as which Universities you can go to or what sort of work you enter into, and possibly, affecting the sort of life you can enjoy up until the age of 25-30 (for some, it actually affected their whole life!)

While what I just said is broad and wide (but definitely not exaggerated), I suppose you do see the extent of how this simple slip of paper, can affect you. Scary ah, what a little piece of paper can do to you life...

BUT frightening, and sometime daunting, as it may be, don't be paralyzed by it. Because, you truly have enough time to catch up...so NEVER GIVE UP! So, what I would like to ask for you to do first, is simply see it from the other perspective.

Instead on focusing on the fear, and the uncertainty, why not focus on the possibilities, and what you can do instead? You still have 5 more months to prepare and revise for this exam. While some may ask, is 5 months enough? Well, my answer would of course be a Yes. Not because I want to give you false hope, but rather, it has been done before, and if you think in depth about it, you can even calculate mathematically how it can be done. (BTW, a research was done in one of our local schools, and the teachers found out that, a months effort can help increase the subject grades by 1 point. Which means, if you are getting a b4 now, in 4 months time, you can get at least an A2 or even A1!)

So, start by FOCUSING on the OUTCOME, and TAKE ACTIONS Now! (after you finish this article, of course) SERIOUS and MASSIVE ACTIONS. And below, are some guides to help you with your work, before we go back to your schools again.

1) Look at yourself in the mirror and BE HONEST. Look deep into your own eyes, and ask, "How do you really feel about the upcoming exam?" "Have you done your part so far to prepare for it?" "Can you truly be honest that you are doing your best?" "Can you do better?" "Can you face up to yourself?" "Are you willing to accept lousy results for the upcoming exam?" "Do you want better for yourself?" Ask all the direct, no-holds-barred questions, and start digging out all the emotions that you have about your exams, good and bad, buried or surfaced.

Stop avoiding it. BE HONEST with yourself. Even if means you may start to feel ashamed, embarrassed, shocked, disappointed or even hate at yourself, admit those feelings first. Face up to them. ACCEPT that they are real. Now it not the time to avoid, or use softeners to make yourself feel good. Get Disturbed.

Can you imagine if you were to avoid these emotions and feelings, and choose to do nothing about it (There are many students who are as such, putting up a "strong" and "secure" front to others, even though deep down, they are fearful, very fearful of their own future)? The consequences would usually be more such negative emotions and feelings, PLUS "interests" coming in the form of "failures". It just keeps building up! And sometimes, it even compounds.

So, DON'T, I beg of you. You deserve better. So, start by FACING UP TO THE FACTS! And the good, GREAT, thing is, once you acknowledged your feelings, you also start to realise that, "HEY, I can do something about it! I can decide my life as I have choices!" Which is true. You can really do something for each of the negative feelings. Only when you face up to these fears of yours, and not avoid them, will you be able to overcome them and have fun at the same time. (Gee, I feel old saying this though. Make me feel like one of those ancient chinese shifu. :P Ken and his weird philosophies.)

2) Don't just get disturbed. Forgive yourself, and move on to doing what needs to be done. So, after step 1, you should really take some time to list down, the problems you face with each of the subjects you are taking.

For example, Chemistry - Is it the concepts which you cannot comprehend? Atomic structure? Calculations? Mole? Ratio? Bonding?

Physics - Is it the memorising part?Knowing what's the important points?

Bio - Is it the functions? Cause and effects?

History - People, events which you are unclear and uncertain of? Factors? English - Essays? Compre? Summary? ETC.

For each of the subject, chapters, and sections, write out the problems you face. So, rule of thumb which I will suggest to you, start with your stronger subjects first. And once you get the momentum, it will drive you even more.

And importantly, you would know where you are standing in your preparation for your work.. That leads to point 3.

3) After getting out the problems you face with each topic, and clearly identifying the problems, attempt to understand how to solve the problems first.

ATTEMPT.

Make the first effort to do it on your own first. Even if you make mistakes, it is ok. BUT DO ATTEMPT. Otherwise, if you skip this part, and go to step four, you would still be lost. So, please, MAKE ATTEMPTS to solve the problems first.

4) For all those problems which you still can't clear, identify people and resources which can help you explain them. So who can you approach? Well, the answer in most of your head would be your friends, top students of your classes, and teachers. You are all correct. So, with your questions, ASK.

Now, some students may face some challenges when wanting to ask, if they didn't first perform step 3. Firstly, they are afraid or paiseh that they will bother their friends/teachers, and they don't want to look "stupid" in front of their friends/teachers. Now, you will only feel this way, if you didn't do your homework in the first place. Step 3 would at least allow you some groundwork, and background into the problem, and so, you will be asking relevant questions. And these questions would most probably be questions that are faced by other students. So, they are "smart", "related" and relevant questions. The people you ask may even appreciate you for asking such questions as it allows them to see from another perspective.

In addition, Step 3 is important as, when you have attempted the problems, can't solve it, and then ASK, you will be rewarded with the answers, you will have what I would call, the "AH HAH" effect. Because, you have worked on the problem previously, your brain is challenged by it. And when you finally get the answer, it is like a tight knot that was suddenly untied, and you tend to appreciate the answer and register in your mind easier. There are emotions involved here. But if you skip step 3, chances are, you won't appreciate the answers even if it is directly in front of your face.

5) After step 4, then, you proceed to practise. Now, if you want to know how to practise, please, send me an msn email, to hura_kurama@hotmail.com. I will then, tell you how to practise correctly for each paper (excluding Language papers as they are prepared a little differently). In your email, please state your school, class, full name, and also, Ernest's, Peter's and my famous quote (this is just like the password).

I am sorry for being so secretive, but as recently, I found that there are "spies" from other companies, and they have been "stealing" ideas from us. So, I have to safeguard this. (Anyway, kinda appalled at the type of integrity that people may have. Stealing other people's ideas, intellectual property, and claim it to be theirs.) But, I am sure the infinite intelligence will take care of these people. :)

Back, so, please send me the email, if you are keen. I will just share one simple secret with you on how to score for your exam. Remember, EXAM IS JUST A GAME. And it is one of the easiest game ever!

To wrap this up. Let me just do a simple maths calculation for all to see.

What this 5 months could mean.

It I were to use 10 years as the impact that this O levels would have.

Then, it would amount to 120 months (10yrsX12mths).

So, using 5 months to O levels as the Investment you have to make, then, the returns of investment would be 120 Div 5. 24 times returns.

BUT NOTE, this 24 times returns may even compound to a few times more! And usually it does compound. BUT, this return, could be a good investment, or a lousy liability.

If you choose to do well, it is a great Return of Investment, if you don't, then, it can become your greatest liability. It is your choice. So please....PLEASE...choose wisely.

The choice is clear. Small investment for years of gain! Go for it!

Foundation and Fundamentals

Speaking of Foundation, I would like to take this time to also talk about the final year examination which ALL of my students are taking.

I am worried for all of you. BUT, I am sure that you all will get good results if you just follow what we told you when we trained you (or for that matters, remembered what we taught you! :P)

But nonetheless, I would like to just STRESS on one major point. WORK ON YOUR FOUNDATIONS for all the subjects. This will be the deciding factor on whether you can do well or not. There is no use to work on your TYS or PYPs without knowing how to do it right the first place. And while practise makes perfect, PRACTISE WRONGLY MAKES PERFECT WRONG (My personal phrase to all my students). So, get it clear what you are doing first, know the fundamentals and foundations well, and you would not have much problems for your Exam.

Same offer goes out to you! EMAIL ME, should you have any problems. Only about 80 days more to GO!

BE GREAT!
Ken Koh Seng Kiang

Ken Koh Seng Kiang is the Co-Trainer and Consultant of the highly successful Super Teens Holiday Camp and Smart Kid Training workshop. He has positively impacted the lives and personally coached over 10,000 students from Singapore, Malaysia, China and Indonesia. Ken is one of the rare few in Singapore to be personally trained and coached by Dr Ernest Wong. For more information, please visit www.learningmastery.com.

How You Love Your Other Half Is How You Love Yourself

Recently, a strange idea got me really excited and I sort of came up to this phrase "How you love your other half is how you love yourself". It is just my thoughts and I would like to ask for some comments and feedback. So, please feel free to voice your opinions here. Thanks first!

Okay, here I go.

Many of us have experienced this before, or have "committed" such an act before in our lives. When we are interested in a certain person of the opposite sex, we start to treat the person really well, taking care of the person's needs, being really sensitive to the other person's moods, almost all the time. It usually happens during the dating period.

BUT then, things start to change once you become attached. You think that you are treating your other half the "same" way, but your other half starts and keeps complaining about you, gets upset at you for small little things that you didn't do, and you two end up fighting or having cold war. Sounds familiar?

Well, for most of the people I know, it seems to be the case. And recently, I thought about it and in my own opinion, the reason is because, you have started to treat the other half as part of you, and therefore, you treat the other person the way you usually do to yourself.

Yes, it may sound alittle crazy, but let me do my best to explain to you what I mean.

Before you are attached, you are two separate entities, and you do your best to please the other person (at least for most people). You would even do things which you never thought that you would do. You would even do things which you would never even do for yourself! It is quite normal. You are "in love" and the chemical reactions in your brain sort of make you do all those crazy things.

BUT when you get attached together, things change. Things sort of stagnate alittle, and you are not as "romantic" as you were during dating. Reason, I feel, is because, you feel that your other half is a part of you, or is YOU (whether consciously or unconsciously). And because of this, you don't do those "special" things for your other half anymore, BECAUSE, you don't do those "special" things to yourself in the first place.

To make things easier to understand, maybe this would help.

A person who always hurt himself would end up hurting his other half.
A person who is stingy with herself would usually be stingy when it comes to her other half.
A person who has no drive for a better life would not have high expectations of the other half.
A person who cannot love him/herself, can never love his/her other half.

And the same goes for people who usually have a relationship that works out wonderfully.

A person who splurges on himself would usually be able to splurge on the other half.
A person who is able to spend time with himself is usually able to spend time with the other half.
A person who is able to be open to herself about feelings and emotions is usually able to be as open to the other half.
A person who is able to love him/herself, can truly love his/her other half.

(Please pardon me if this sounds confusing. I am just voicing this out here, haphazardly. So please help me by providing comments. I want to clear this in my head too. :S It is a strong feeling that I am onto something really big here, and I want to get it right.)

This is usually the case, or rather, this IS THE CASE for everyone. Before we are in a relationship, we treat the other person as different, and that the other person has a different expectations. So, during "courtship" and dating, we change and adjust to match to that expectations.

BUT, when we become attached, Two Becomes One...or rather, Two Becomes YOU. And that is when, if you don't see this fact, the problem arises. You start to treat the other person the same way you treat yourself. You start to thing that, that person's expectation is actually your expectation of yourself. You start to treat that person the same way you treat yourself, thinking that person will not mind (and boy, are you wrong about that!).

That is when the challenges of relationship come about. And unless you are able to resolve this part, the problems will just keep mounting.

So what's the solution for this? My suggestion is, rather than working on the relationship, the focus of work should be on ourselves instead. The "war" is not with the External world (your other half), but rather is in the Internal world.

Do you truly care about yourself? Do you truly take good care of your own wellbeing? Do you feel good about yourself? Are you honest with yourself? Are you open to your emotions, whether negative or positive? Do you accept yourself, your strengths and weaknesses? Do you love yourself?

When was the last time you even had a conversation with yourself ABOUT yourself?

Your answers to the above question will determine the sort of relationship you will have.

If you truly care about yourself, your health and takes care of your own wellbeing, you would be able to take care of your other half's health and wellbeing.
If you feel good about yourself, you would be able to feel good about your other half.
If you are honest with yourself, you would be able to be honest to your other half.
If you are open to your own emotions, you would be able to be open to your other half about emotions.
If you are able to accept yourself, strengths and weaknesses, you would be able to accept your other half, strengths and weaknesses.
If you are able to love yourself, you would be able to love your other half.
If you are able to have a close, heart to heart conversation with yourself about yourself, you would be able to have a close, heart to heart converstaion with your other half.

I came to realise that whether a relationship works out or not, it is a choice of whether you want to work on yourself first, and never on what you can work on the other person. It is a choice whether you are willing to take responsibilities and take charge of yourself, and not on the other person. It is YOU first, before the other. You are the cause.

So, if you are always in a relationship where you get hurt, or where there are huge problems, it is because of YOU and only you. You created those problems.

BUT, if you are having a fulfilling relationship with your other half now, good for you! It is also because you have CREATED the results.

It is all you.

So my last question to you is this, when is the last time you have had a honest conversation, about your own life, about your own future, about your own happiness, about your feelings, with YOURSELF?

Regards,
Ken

(Pardon me too, if there are any spelling errors or grammar. So I can amend.)

More Pics!!! But more of ME!!! hehehe

More pics! of me. haha.

Two poses, and one picture which I edited. Enjoy.

Zhi Lian. hahaha. Self Admiration.

Edited Picture of Lembang

PICTURES FROM INDON!!!

First of all! Thanks for all the well wishes. I have recovered from my Diarrhoea and am now back to eating "nonsense" again. haha.

Currently, am staying at Sheraton hotel for Smart Kids Surabaya and the hotel is simply marvelous, only losing to Ritz by a little. :) Enjoying myself here with a bunch of small adorable kids. :) They are SOOOO CUTE. Won't show you the pictures first.

Rather, here are the pictures from the first camp. :) Enjoy.

Pictures Pictures Pictures! From Indon.

Hi All!

First of all, apologies for the absence as I have been away for camps and training.

Anyway, just a quick update that for the whole school holiday, I have been in camps, after camps, are more camps. And now, I am in Lembang, Indonesia, running a huge camp with 300 over participants. It is like a party. The kids are simple marvelous and very nice.

Here are some pictures for you to see. Enjoy!

And to XY, this is the reason why I always wanted you to go to Indon camps. The experience is different...VERY DIFFERENT. To which, XY will reply, "Okay Lah..." or "See How Lah". hehehe

From this, you can get a feel of the number of students. And I am the one who has to shout the commands to them. Now you know why my voice is hoarse after every camp...:)

Kids trying the break the record. The Giants!

Some Random Pic...

Some More Random Pics...

More To Come!!!

Dedicated To SCGS' Wonderful Ladies

I must say that SCGS is a great school with a strong culture and full of love for the students. The School leaders were very supportive and were always there for the students, to ensure their success, with the Principal, Vice Principal and Dean visiting on several occasions. The students were also very closely knitted, with many of them were from different countries like Vietnam, China, Indonesia and of course, Singapore.

Ladies, if you are reading this, I just want to say that you are bound for success. All of you have been so wonderful, passionate and focused in your own learning. Combine that with the friends which you have found, I am sure that you will definitely go FAR. Reach high, and get into action. You deserve only the best!

Sadly, I didn't manage to get a photo taken of the whole class. But, even from this picture of just the few ladies, I am sure you can get a feel of the dynamic energy and charisma they exude.



BE GREAT ALWAYS!

Rare Cash Reward Opportunity For All!

Dear Friends!

I am elated to announce to all a wonderful opportunity offered by Learning Mastery whereby you can make some serious extra cash for yourself! And best of all, you can make money while helping to make an positive impact in the lives of our future generation, Children and Teens!

Yes, Learning Mastery has opened up an Affiliate program whereby you can join us as independent marketeer. As our marketeer, you can earn a NEAT $300 per successful enrolment for our public programs, Super Teens and Smart Kids. Yesh, $300 cash and you do not even need to sell anything!

To claim this $300 (which is like almost a giveaway since it is so easy to get), all you need to do is simply refer your friends, relatives or colleagues who have children between the age of 9 and above or who have children who would want to be able to excel in school, score all the As and succeed earlier in life! If you thought you read it wrongly, let me repeat, $300, just by referring someone. And you don't need to sell anything. Just invite.

The whole process is simply as follows:

1) Think of those you know who have schooling children (Pri, Sec, Jc, Poly, Uni), and just inform them about our seminars. Of course, it helps to tell them how the program has helped you in your life. OH, not forgetting, the seminar is FUN and INFORMATIVE.

2) Let them know about the dates of the seminar. Which are

1. 10th and 11th May, 2-5 pm.
2. 17th and 18th May, 2-5 pm.

Venue : 122. Middle Road, Midlink Plaza, #07-04.

3) Next, once they have confirmed their attendance, give us a call at 6453 0768 to inform us that how many are coming, providing their contacts, names and dates of seminar PLUS which camp/workshop/school you are from (so we know you are our affiliate).

4) Just give them one more call one day before the event to remind them.

5) WE WILL TAKE OVER THE REST. We will help you to enrol your friends.

6) Get paid the next month after the enrolment. So, it's that simple. 6 steps (actually, 4 to be exact as the last two steps, are done by us!).

$300, may not be a big sum. BUT, just imagine this, 1 enrolment per week, for a month of 4 weeks, that could come up to an additional $1200 for the month. What can an additional $1200 do for you and your family?

Of course, I would strongly suggest that you keep this money and grow it instead. HOW? I will cover in future articles.

For now, Grab this opportunity immediately! Accelerate your financial success earlier!

How To Ace Chemistry?

This Article is for those students whom are asking about how to do better in "O" levels Chemistry. I hope to share some insight on what you can do to improve on your Chem.

One important key that all Chem students must know is that, this is a subject whereby you need to build a strong foundation before moving up to the next level. It is a subject whereby the earlier topics are more important as the latter subjects. Without the basics, you would definitely have difficulties. DEFINITELY.

So, it is of the utmost importance that you must review your notes and textbooks of Chem for Chapter 1 - Chap 8 (up until Atomic Structure, Electrons, charges, Reactivity series and why certain element are more reactive/less reactive, Periodic table arrangement, etc).
Now, while this may sound like a lot of work. BUT, once this portion is done, the rest of the chapters will become soooo much easier. So, it is definitely worth your investment of time and effort.

Now, why is it that Chap 1-8 is important? Let me give you an example.

In the latter chapter of Ionic bonding and Covalent bonding, what is it actually talking about? It is talking about the reactivity of the metals and non metals, and how they will bond together. BUT, if you chunk down further, it is testing more of your understanding of the periodic table arrangement and electrons . It is because of the lack or additional number of electrons which causes the instability, which explains the reactivity level (Cation / Anion).

(Just an interesting note for you, reactivity can be equated to the insecurity of human beings. The more things (in Chem, it will be electrons) that a human (elements, metals or non-metals) is missing, the more this human wants to bond (either sharing or taking of electrons) with others. But if this human has extra, then, this human will only feel secure through giving aways or share with others all the extra things. See if this helps you to understand Bonding better.)

So, imagine if you don't even know how the periodic table is arranged, what electrons are, what is missing, whether is it a metal or non-metal, do you think you can answer the questions properly? Obviously no.

Another example would be Oxidation and Reduction. One was of seeing whether it is Oxi or Red is whether there is loss or gain of electrons. So, what is the basic topic of this chapter again? Back to Chapter 1-8 again. If you don't understand the electrons, and how to identify, you would definitely face challenges.

To score an A for O Levels Chemistry, is very easy, and you just need to do your work on a daily basis. Take the next 8 days, focus on doing well in your basics, in the first 8 chapters (or up until Atomic structure, depending on which text you are using). Upon completion of this part, you can be sure of easier path ahead in your studying of Chem.

Now, if you are keen to know how you can guarantee an A for your Chem, drop me a message here.


Ken Koh is the Co-Trainer and Consultant of the highly successful Super Teens Holiday Camp and Smart Kid Training workshop. He has positively impacted the lives and personally coached over 15,000 students from Singapore, Malaysia, China and Indonesia. Ken is one of the rare few in Singapore to be personally trained and coached by Dr Ernest Wong. For more information, please visit www.learningmastery.com.

Success Without Fulfilment Is Failure.

Recently, one of my students came up to me, and gave me a note that really means so much to both him and me. While I can't share with you about the contents of the letter, I can only say that it sets me thinking about, "how we can live a full life?"

As the saying goes, "It is not the number of breaths you have, but the number of breath taking moments you have."

And this is so true. We have heard about this before that just before we die, we will see our own life flash before our eyes. While that cannot be proven, I believe that it is not our whole life, BUT RATHER, special moments in our life that will appear instead. Moments that have a strong significant emotional meaning.

It could be the day when you took your first step, first fall, first crush, first kiss, heartbreak, loss of a dear one, gain of a new one, hurt, tears, joy, ecstatic moment, etc. Those, I believe, are the moments which you would see. (From hereon, I shall use moments for ease.)

Moments are important to us. It can be likened to the quality of the life we have. It can determine the state we are usually in. It is your life!

And interestingly, if you read my previous articles, you would know that we can create the types of moments we want in our lives. For this article, I choose to guide you to use moments to create a more fulfilling life for yourself.

So, if you want to live with lesser regrets (heck, it is IMPOSSIBLE to have zero regrets), all you need to do, is follow these steps.

1) At the end of each day, spend 15 mins recalling the Moments of the day.
2) Write them out in your Moments Book.
3) Detail it, clearly describing your feelings, the special emotions you encountered.
4) Give gratitude, and say thanks. From the bottom of your heart.

That's all! That's all your need to do for a more fulfilling life. You can be assured that by the end of a week, you will get a momentum to want to do more for life. By the end of the month, you will feel a refreshed outlook towards your own life. And by the end of the year, you will find that you have had a great year and looks forward to a even better year ahead!

Remember, Success Without Fulfilment Is Still Failure...You only deserve your best.

Power To Change.

Dear friends.

Something that I learnt today which I felt I must share. One of the biggest reason to make positive changes in yourself is simply just...Being Honest To Your Self.

The changes I am talking about refers to every aspect of life. But for the ease of explanation, I shall use fitness.

Say, there is this one person who is obese, fat, with arteries clogged to its ream and suffering from all sorts of ailments like heart pain, breathlessness, high blood pressure, dizziness, etc. While this person may not have deliberately caused himself to be in this state, you can be sure of one thing, deep down inside this person, would there be a part of him that is unhappy and depressed about the current state. A part that wants to change, but just "can't". (Note, the "can't") That's human nature. We just can never accept ourselves to be in such a state (or at least, when we choose not to avoid it.)

Now, for most who are in such a state, they usually end up in a vicious spiral. They get upset or frustrated, suffers from even more rejections from society/self, and more hurt/pain. So what happens, they seek solace and temporary escape through eating food, resulting in them getting fatter. And the situation just gets worse and worse. (Hey, trust me, this happens. I was like that once. That, is a story to be told in future. :D)

If intervention is not done immediately, this person would really be in trouble. BIG TROUBLE.

So, what is the best way for this person to start to WANT TO CHANGE, is simply. You may even laugh at what I am about to say. But it is really that SIMPLE.

It is simply HONESTY. Honesty with self.

All this guy needs to do is strip (YES, STRIP) himself in front of the mirror and look at every part of his body that he has been avoiding all these while! Now when I say look, I mean, literally SCRUTINIZE to the finest details. The enormous thighs, flabby arms, double chin, 2 thickly -layered waist line (that makes the michelin tyre mascot pale in comparison) and not to mention the sagging breasts. Imagine, what sort of emotions would this man go through? This guy would most probably break down, cry his heart out and finally want to do something about it.

Of course, this is just the first part. There are alot that this guy needs to do, BUT, he will never be the same again. He will finally want to do something about it. No more avoidance, no more lying to himself, no more built up anger, no more hurt but FORGIVENESS. Yes, forgiveness.

That is the first most important step.

If you ever want to make a change in your life, be it in your relationship, health, finances...First be honest with yourself.

When was the last time you looked into mirror of honesty?

Sincerely,
Ken Koh

Delayed Gratification

Dear all, This is an article which I gathered from Wikipedia. It is about Delayed gratification. Please read it first.
"The marshmallow experiment is a famous test of this concept conducted by Walter Mischel at Stanford University and discussed by Daniel Goleman in his popular work. In the 1960s a group of four-year olds were tested by being given a marshmallow and promised another, only if they could wait 20 minutes before eating the first one. Some children could wait and others could not. The researchers then followed the progress of each child into adolescence, and demonstrated that those with the ability to wait were better adjusted and more dependable (determined via surveys of their parents and teachers), and scored an average of 210 points higher on the Scholastic Aptitude Test.

Another famous impulse control test is the "gift delay," in which children were shown a nicely wrapped gift but told they must complete a puzzle before opening it. Researchers then calculated a "delay score" based on how long the kids hold out. When independent examiners interviewed the test subject years later, they found that boys who had not delayed were "irritable" and that the girls were "sulky." In contrast, the patient boys were "attentive" and the girls "competent."

Isn't that interesting? The fact is, please understand that Delay Gratification is a trait which is proven to help one succeed in life. And more importantly, know that it is also a trait which we can develop in ourselves.

How to do that?

Possibly one of the best way to develop this is just focus on the process and enjoy it. Whichever tasks which is given to us, whatever job we are given, focus on the process and just simply make it enjoyable. Chances are, the outcome will be what you wanted initially, or better.

Isn't there a time in your life, where you worked really hard for something, completed the tasks (delaying the reward), and when you finally accomplished it, the celebration and joy is simply just ecstatic? Well, that is also part of D G. The reward is much more heart felt and remembered.

So, practice this. You will see a great difference in your life.

For students, this is possibly what you need to do now. Just delay playing the computer games for a few days (or a few months), just delay chatting on the MSN chat, just delay going out with your friends for movies, just delay your bad habits. You will find that, the results at the end will be more than worth it!


Simply note, if you can do something like Studies, Discipline yourself for this 6 months (til your final year), you can be sure that you will DEFINITELY be able to achieve great results in life!

Superteen And Smartkids - We Are Recruiting!

Yes, you read it correctly. The dynamic, passionate and superb team is looking to hire trainers. So, if you are looking to join us or have friends who wants to impact the lives of teens, children, parents and work adults, here's your chance!

But note, we do have strict criterias. So, if you have the following, then we want to meet you!

Superteen and Smartkids Trainers/Consultants (Part time/Freelance)

1. Secondary or Primary School Teachers, current or retired, who wants to create an additional income
2. Tutors who are familiar with the education syllabus
3. Creative, Caring and Passionate Individuals who enjoys the fun of working with children and teens
4. Flexible working hours (Btn 2 - 12hrs over the weekends, depending on your own schedule)
5. Attractive Offer
6. Preferably aged between 20-35 years old

Interested? Please send your resume and CV to ken.koh@learningmastery.com.

Or you can visit www.learningmastery.com for more information.

So, if you are ready to create an impact in the next generation, let's meet!

Problems Are Challenges That We Can Choose To Love.

I must say that the last two weeks have been wonderful, great and simply superb. The students from Coral Sec have really reinforced my passion and love for training with their new found dedication and drive for the future. These students are simply wonderful and adorable.

BTW, if you have any photos, please send to my email. I would like to post a few shots here. Thanks!

Anyway, to ALL coralites, while life will pose many challenges to you and it may seem daunting at times, I just want you to read the following real life story.

>>>A man asked the champion body builder, "How did you train your muscles to be so huge?". To which, his reply was, "Do you REALLY want to know or are you just asking?" "Yeah, I really want to know." With that, the champion flexed his huge right bicep, and with a serious look in his eyes staring down at the man, he replied, "See this? Everyday, I push my muscle against resistance. And as I push myself against more and more resistance, I commanded my muscle to expand by demand. This muscle is the result of pushing against resistance."<<<

Well, some of you may be lost by now. Don't be. Let me help you understand.

Challenges (I prefer challenges to problems) in life are resistance that makes us strong, if we choose to push against them. Challenges are life's way of making us grow, let us learn, to be wiser, to be better. Challenges are life's way to excite us and surprise us. Challenges are our allies. Challenges are GREAT!

Talk about mental shift, huh. But, that's true (or so I CHOSE to believe).

So, how do see your challenges as? Your choice. :)

Father's Love...A Must Read

Dear friends,

First of all, thank you all for spending your precious time in my site. As you know, I aim to provide as much resources as I can to support you in your pursuit towards your dreams, towards living the extraordinary life your truly deserve and to realise your purpose in life. While I can't give you everything, I would definitely do my very best.

For this post, I would like to present to you a gift. A gift of love. I would sincerely ask that you watch the below video and experience the POWER of a father's love for his son, and a son's determination to lead an extraordinary life. I would like you to see how Rick Hoyt has given his all and MORE to his disabled son and in the process, touching the lives of millions all over the world. For more information, you can visit this site :

http://www.teamhoyt.com/history.shtml



If you can't see it here, Copy and paste this link in your address bar. http://www.youtube.com/v/flRvsO8m_KI&hl=en

After the video, please take some time to also realise that our own parents have done the same for us all this while. Our own parents have always offered unconditional love to us. Think back, and you will know this is true.

So, remember this. Never stinge nor shy away from expressing your love to them. NEVER. Don't wait until it is too late and you start to have regrets.

Forgiveness...Forgive yourself first, before others.

This is a posting that is based on a topic given to me by one of my students who is now studying in Aussie. So here goes.

This could be the easiest and also the hardest thing that we can ever do in our life, whether is it to forgive your loved ones, your friends, colleagues, or even family members.

Why Easiest? Easiest because if it simply a choice that we can make. Hardest because it deals with our emotions and feelings.

BUT, forgiveness is possibly one of the greatest gift we have been bestowed upon. Through forgiveness, we gain freedom and empowerment. We are able to let go of all negative emotions and achieve even great results.

So, what is forgiveness? It is the willingness to forgive. So what is to forgive? There are many meanings given in the dictionary, but I like this one the most. It is "to cease to feel resentment against".

Yes, to forgive is to be able to let go of any resentment towards anyone, anything or any event. To let go of the hate, anger and bitterness. To let go of the negative.

Why is this important? Well, let me give you a simple example.

Imagine there is a person X. X holds alot of hate, resentment and anger towards Y. X feels the pain, shame, hurt and sorrow about it. While Y, who is totally clueless, feels totally indifferent towards X. Now, who is at the losing end?

In most cases, who gets hurt the most? (No prize for guessing, X of course.)

Stupid, you might say, but isn't that the truth about most of us? Most of the time, we are inflicting the same pain or damage to ourselves, either knowingly and unknowingly. So, aren't we the stupid one.

So, why is it that we find it so hard to forgive at times? The reasons are many. But the main reason is simply because of the way we view (context of) the event that happened.

Context would simply mean the way we look at the situation and thereafter, giving the situation a meaning.

Say when someone is betrayed (be it in business, love, friendship), that someone can "choose" to view the betrayal through the context that it is bad. He/she may see it as a breach of trust and having believed in the wrong person.

BUT, another person who have gone through the same situation could view it from a context that it is good. He/she may see it as a moment of truth where the true colours are seen and that he/she can move on to a better and more fulfilling life ahead with other more deserving people.

One real life example that I can give is the story of Mr Dave Peltzer. If you have read his books (The child named "it", or the Lost Boy), you would know that he has had a terrible terrible childhood where he was tortured, mentally, physically and emotionally by his "MOM". Yes, the one person that all of us would usually trust and love the most. But for him, his mom was the one person that has inflicted the most pain (such as making him eat feces, starving him, suffocating him, depriving him of sleep, oh, and almost killing him with a knife).

Imagine, what most people would do in his situation? Suicide? Destructive life of drugs, self mutilation, alcohol and hurt? Causing hurt to others? That would be the usual...if we choose to see it from "everyone's" context.

For Dave (though it did take a long while), he chose to pick himself up and move on. He became a famous author and through his training seminars, talks and books, he has impacted the many lives of those who needed help! Talk about looking through things from an entirely different context and giving it a different meaning.

So, as you can see, it is the same situation, but the different context and meaning that is given that makes one feel hurt or not.

The key is, CHOICE (if you paid attention earlier, you should know about this by now. hehe. :P). Where does this choice reside in? You! Where does this POWER of choice lies in? ___ (Please fill in the blank yourself).

You have always the choice to see things the way it is. Hard as it may seem, but you do. There are many ways to do it, and most importantly is, once you learn how to, you suddenly have a sense of empowerment and control over your own life. you will realise that all these while, you have always been blessed and loved.

Always remember, you deserve the best in life. You deserve more love. Your deserve great friends. You deserve a great career. You simply DESERVE. So, why not love yourself just a little bit more?

P.S

I can share with you alittle more about how to choose the context and meaning of every situation in your life in the near future. For now, let me just give you one simple "trick":

When you feel "hurt" or any negative feeling. Dissociate yourself from yourself. Imagine that you are now a director of your own life, looking at yourself, the people around you, the person who has "hurt" you and the things around you. Look at yourself from this "third" person's view. Do you notice that your negative feelings are lessened or even negated?

Once you are able to do this, start to look at and focus on the "positive" of the situation, such as the lessons learnt, the growth that you have achieved, the revelation of truth in the situation, the discovery of a new you, etc etc. All the good. Focus on those. How does that feel? Chances are, you would feel much better. How to continue from hereon, I will share with you some other time. Just use this simple exercise to get yourself on trck first, so that you can start to think more "logically" and not feel so bad about things. Get yourself out of the "state" first and soon, you find that you have more solutions around you.

Great Start To 2008! And All Years To Come!

Good day to all again. It has been almost 8 mths since I last blogged.

So here goes.

Update about what I had been doing over the past half year or so.

I have had a great 2007 (even with the challenges) and grown alot too. Physically, I am feeling great and have managed to achieve some wonderful results. :) In my work, I am on track and growing fast. Moving into the next level and in the process of getting two books out, one of fitness, the other on the training I am doing with Ernest. At home, all is well, and my folks are getting along fine (other than the sometimes quarrels and frustration, things are still going strong).

For 2008, I am looking forward to it. With the many challenges faced by the world, I am sure more opportunities will arise. And I am sure, this year will be great. :)

As a start of my series of writeups, I would like to just take this opportunity to thank a few people. My parents, my siblings for their support. My mentor, Shifu and boss, Ernest, for giving me the chance to grow and come back into the team. My colleagues too.

Which brings me back to this, when was the last time we have shown our gratitude and love to those around us? When was the last time you looked at your friends, relatives, parents and told them how much they mean to you? If it has been a long while, this would be a good time.

Start your year with gratitude, and I am sure, the whole year will be great for you.

No Man Will Change For The Better Until They See The Need For It!

"No Man Will Change For The Better UIntil They See The Need For it.

A fine quote from the greek philosopher, Socrates. And truly, words of wisdom it is.

Most of us, if not all, have had experience where we didn't do anything to change something, until the last minute when it is almost too late to change.

Let me give you some of the more extreme examples.

Be it smokers who finally decide to quit after they found that they have Cancer, or be it drinkers who finally decide to stop after they fo

und that they have liver problems, or be it drug abusers who finally decide to throw away the needle after they lose everything. Or be it people who finally decide to change after they almost lost their marriage, relationship or their loved ones. (of course, the less critical examples would be students who study at the last minute or pushing your work until the last moment before the report is due. :P) BUT THESE ARE THE LUCKY ONES. These people actually changed before it is too late. Most people don't even get the chance to. Actually, it is more like, MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN GIVE THEMSELVES THE CHANCE TO! (In case you didn’t notice, KEYWORD IS GIVE! :P)

Most people Blame, Give Excuses and Justify for their being in such a sad state. When they smoke, they blame peers whom influenced them to do so. When they drink, they give excuses that it is the stress from work and society that pushes them towards such vice. When the take drugs, they justify that it is their right to destroy their own body. These people have decided they don’t have the power to change, they have decided that they don’t have the choice and that they were born like that. The worst of the lot, are those that are in DENIAL. They claim to enjoy doing all those things while knowing all the hazards it brings. But the sad truth is, these people have already GIVEN UP. These people have already deprived themselves of their power, the power to choose.


(Maybe,my new quote should be, “MOST PEOPLE DON’T CHANGE FOR THE BETTER UNTIL THEY ARE DEAD…”.)

Once these people give up the power to choose, they have already given up on themselves completely. They accept the “fact” that life leads them, and not them leading life. They accept the “fact” that circumstances controls them, and not them controlling the circumstances. They accept the “fact” that the world is unfair. Isn’t this just sad?

Well, it is. Unfortunately, this happens all too often. I am sure you have seen people around you who are like that. I am sure you even have friends who are like that. I am sure that you are hurt as well.

But I am even sure that you can do something about it. The only question is to ask, “HOW?”.

Keen to find out? If you bug me enough, then I will write another blog. The only clue I can give for now is the power lies partly in you.

How to recover from a broken heart?

Why is it that many people, after a major break off often starts with crying their hearts out, becoming a nervous wreck, self mutilations, getting themselves drunk all night, losing sleep, hating themselves, etc. Some worse cases will get themselves into another relationship (REBOUND) and get into the same mess over again, afterwhich, start to lament how life is unfair to them, yada yada.

The truth to this is that, some of these people enjoy getting hurt and enjoy hurting themselves. Some enjoy the self pity part, or getting pity from others. Some just enjoy being the Victim. So, the chinese saying goes, "Ren Shi Jian De" or directly translated "Man/Woman is Cheap" (being fair to both sexes.:P), does state some truth about us.

But is that something that we should deal to ourselves? Is it really true that we are cheap as the saying goes? Well, the answer is of course, NO! To be honest, other than those whom are psychologically unstable or into Sado Machoism (SM), enjoy inflicting pain to themselves, the reason why so many of us hurt continually hurt ourselves in such a manner is simply because, WE DO NOT LOVE OURSELVES ENOUGH.

You may disagree, saying "yeah right". But it is true. Imagine this. Someone comes to your house, knocks on your door, and as you open the door, that person just gives your one tight slap on your face. What is the natural thing to do? Of course, you retaliate. You would either chase that person out, call the police, or beat the stuffing out of that person. Simply because, you know that you don't deserve to be treated like that, by that person. You love, treasure and respect yourself.

But those whom disregard, do not care about and not love themselves, would probably think that they deserve it, maybe it was something did that caused them to be in such a plight.

Now, shifing the scenario to relationships. You meet someone, that someone slowly opens you up to getting to know you better, and then he/she "slaps" you by leaving you. So what should be the natural thing to do? Again, you should retaliate. But in this case, the way to retaliate is of course, not to beat up the person (maybe you should), or take revenge (maybe you should too. If you are keen to learn the ways to exact revenge, mail me for more infor...hahaha, I am quite a genius at it.). If you truly love yourself, you know that you should take measures to prevent such "intrusions" again, as well as to get yourself healed properly. And of course, to find someone special that can protect you in future.

But in the case of people whom do not love themselves, or simply disregard themselves. Most probably, they would start to think, "Maybe I deserve to be treated this way?", "Maybe I did something wrong?", or worse still, "I think I deserve to be hurt more." These are people whom simply do not love themselves. And they end up hurting themselves even more by shutting their doors forever, repeating the "slap" in their mind again and again like an old movie, feeling the sorrow time and time again. They feel shiok like this.

So it all boils down to one thing, whether do we love ourselves or not. If we love ourselves, Hurt can be easily overcome. If we don't, Hurt will continue to haunt us until we finally learn to love ourselves or until we die. That's why, what I am going to suggest, for people whom are broken hearted, WILL ONLY WORK, if you have learn to love yourself. If not, please enjoy being in your current state.

Now, let's move on to overcoming failed relationships.

1) Firstly, SET A DATE FOR YOU TO STOP FEELING SAD AND BAD. We will all feel sad, after a failed relationship. No one can escape that. Even animals can't, lest to say humans with their abundance of feelings and emotions. So, IT IS ALRIGHT to feel hurt, sad and bad. The only key difference here is, you must set a date to stop it all and MOVE ON. But of course, set a realistic date. If you tell yourself things like, "Yes, I will allow myself to feel this way for another 10 years." Then please, use a knife and bleed yourself to death. Or better still, Cut your arteries, Tie a plastic bag over your head, Hang yourself off a rope and jump off the cliff at the same time.

2) Write down all the good points about yourself. Write down your successes, your past achievements, your great character traits, even small little things like learning to tie your shoe laces on your own when you were 5. All those things will add up to create a positive feel about yourself. And building up that love bank in your heart, to start loving yourself. Of course, do not overdo it til the point you get conceited and start bragging about how you overcame your fear of using the toilet bowl for the first time when you were 3.

3) Interact with positive people. They will listen to your problems, and tell you all the positive things. Like, yah, it is his/her loss (which is really true, you are a great person), he/she don't deserve you, you will find a better person in future. Now, positive energy will draw out positive energy, vice versa. And you will feel good too. Imagine yourself hanging out with another person whom just broke off. I believe you two can flood one olympic swimming pool with your wailing and tears. Or will be contemplating suicide together.

4) Get involved in sports. Healthy body, healthy mind. But more importantly, sports helps you to focus better and get a better perspective of things. Do Jogging, Cycling, or simply working out at the Gym. It helps. It also gets your mind off things, and when you see how beautiful your body is getting after all the workout, you would be confident. And most probably, you would start laughing and say, "HAHAHA, see how beautiful I have become after you left me.".

5) Do not tell yourself negative things like, "I will never fall in love again" "I hate the opposite sex" "I am just not fated to find the right person", etc. This is a very important part. Allow me to explain.

Imagine a your feeling and heart as the CORE. Once in a while, some HURT will happen and leave a marks on your CORE. But if you let your CORE rest, and expose it to NATURE, it will gradually heal. This is natural.

But when you start to say negative things as stated above, what you actually did was to built a WALL around your CORE. True, it does protect your CORE from other HURT in the future. But also because of this WALL, your CORE do not get exposed to NATURE, and what happens is, the marks will keep renewing itself because HURT is locked up too. Unable to escape, HURT will keep leaving marks on your CORE.

Until you finally demolish the wall, will you be able to let HURT out and let NATURE in.

DEEP AH. Don't understand, mail me.

Below are the prevention measures.

6) REFLECT ON YOURSELF. If you are involved in failed relationships, You should start looking inward too. 50% of the reason for the failure arises from you. To some, 100% of the problem arises from them. Relationships are started because of certain reasons. And if the reasons are kept strong, and renewed, the relationship would last. But if the reasons are weak, the relationship would be problematic. So, look inward and learn from your mistakes. Relationships fail for a reason. It is so that you can learn to make sure the next one works.

Well, the conclusion is this. As long as we love ourselves, any method would work in supporting us to getting over this "crisis" called a failed relationship. If you do not know how to love yourself, how can you even talk about loving others?