Recent Posts

Monday, March 10, 2008

How to recover from a broken heart?

Why is it that many people, after a major break off often starts with crying their hearts out, becoming a nervous wreck, self mutilations, getting themselves drunk all night, losing sleep, hating themselves, etc. Some worse cases will get themselves into another relationship (REBOUND) and get into the same mess over again, afterwhich, start to lament how life is unfair to them, yada yada.

The truth to this is that, some of these people enjoy getting hurt and enjoy hurting themselves. Some enjoy the self pity part, or getting pity from others. Some just enjoy being the Victim. So, the chinese saying goes, "Ren Shi Jian De" or directly translated "Man/Woman is Cheap" (being fair to both sexes.:P), does state some truth about us.

But is that something that we should deal to ourselves? Is it really true that we are cheap as the saying goes? Well, the answer is of course, NO! To be honest, other than those whom are psychologically unstable or into Sado Machoism (SM), enjoy inflicting pain to themselves, the reason why so many of us hurt continually hurt ourselves in such a manner is simply because, WE DO NOT LOVE OURSELVES ENOUGH.

You may disagree, saying "yeah right". But it is true. Imagine this. Someone comes to your house, knocks on your door, and as you open the door, that person just gives your one tight slap on your face. What is the natural thing to do? Of course, you retaliate. You would either chase that person out, call the police, or beat the stuffing out of that person. Simply because, you know that you don't deserve to be treated like that, by that person. You love, treasure and respect yourself.

But those whom disregard, do not care about and not love themselves, would probably think that they deserve it, maybe it was something did that caused them to be in such a plight.

Now, shifing the scenario to relationships. You meet someone, that someone slowly opens you up to getting to know you better, and then he/she "slaps" you by leaving you. So what should be the natural thing to do? Again, you should retaliate. But in this case, the way to retaliate is of course, not to beat up the person (maybe you should), or take revenge (maybe you should too. If you are keen to learn the ways to exact revenge, mail me for more infor...hahaha, I am quite a genius at it.). If you truly love yourself, you know that you should take measures to prevent such "intrusions" again, as well as to get yourself healed properly. And of course, to find someone special that can protect you in future.

But in the case of people whom do not love themselves, or simply disregard themselves. Most probably, they would start to think, "Maybe I deserve to be treated this way?", "Maybe I did something wrong?", or worse still, "I think I deserve to be hurt more." These are people whom simply do not love themselves. And they end up hurting themselves even more by shutting their doors forever, repeating the "slap" in their mind again and again like an old movie, feeling the sorrow time and time again. They feel shiok like this.

So it all boils down to one thing, whether do we love ourselves or not. If we love ourselves, Hurt can be easily overcome. If we don't, Hurt will continue to haunt us until we finally learn to love ourselves or until we die. That's why, what I am going to suggest, for people whom are broken hearted, WILL ONLY WORK, if you have learn to love yourself. If not, please enjoy being in your current state.

Now, let's move on to overcoming failed relationships.

1) Firstly, SET A DATE FOR YOU TO STOP FEELING SAD AND BAD. We will all feel sad, after a failed relationship. No one can escape that. Even animals can't, lest to say humans with their abundance of feelings and emotions. So, IT IS ALRIGHT to feel hurt, sad and bad. The only key difference here is, you must set a date to stop it all and MOVE ON. But of course, set a realistic date. If you tell yourself things like, "Yes, I will allow myself to feel this way for another 10 years." Then please, use a knife and bleed yourself to death. Or better still, Cut your arteries, Tie a plastic bag over your head, Hang yourself off a rope and jump off the cliff at the same time.

2) Write down all the good points about yourself. Write down your successes, your past achievements, your great character traits, even small little things like learning to tie your shoe laces on your own when you were 5. All those things will add up to create a positive feel about yourself. And building up that love bank in your heart, to start loving yourself. Of course, do not overdo it til the point you get conceited and start bragging about how you overcame your fear of using the toilet bowl for the first time when you were 3.

3) Interact with positive people. They will listen to your problems, and tell you all the positive things. Like, yah, it is his/her loss (which is really true, you are a great person), he/she don't deserve you, you will find a better person in future. Now, positive energy will draw out positive energy, vice versa. And you will feel good too. Imagine yourself hanging out with another person whom just broke off. I believe you two can flood one olympic swimming pool with your wailing and tears. Or will be contemplating suicide together.

4) Get involved in sports. Healthy body, healthy mind. But more importantly, sports helps you to focus better and get a better perspective of things. Do Jogging, Cycling, or simply working out at the Gym. It helps. It also gets your mind off things, and when you see how beautiful your body is getting after all the workout, you would be confident. And most probably, you would start laughing and say, "HAHAHA, see how beautiful I have become after you left me.".

5) Do not tell yourself negative things like, "I will never fall in love again" "I hate the opposite sex" "I am just not fated to find the right person", etc. This is a very important part. Allow me to explain.

Imagine a your feeling and heart as the CORE. Once in a while, some HURT will happen and leave a marks on your CORE. But if you let your CORE rest, and expose it to NATURE, it will gradually heal. This is natural.

But when you start to say negative things as stated above, what you actually did was to built a WALL around your CORE. True, it does protect your CORE from other HURT in the future. But also because of this WALL, your CORE do not get exposed to NATURE, and what happens is, the marks will keep renewing itself because HURT is locked up too. Unable to escape, HURT will keep leaving marks on your CORE.

Until you finally demolish the wall, will you be able to let HURT out and let NATURE in.

DEEP AH. Don't understand, mail me.

Below are the prevention measures.

6) REFLECT ON YOURSELF. If you are involved in failed relationships, You should start looking inward too. 50% of the reason for the failure arises from you. To some, 100% of the problem arises from them. Relationships are started because of certain reasons. And if the reasons are kept strong, and renewed, the relationship would last. But if the reasons are weak, the relationship would be problematic. So, look inward and learn from your mistakes. Relationships fail for a reason. It is so that you can learn to make sure the next one works.

Well, the conclusion is this. As long as we love ourselves, any method would work in supporting us to getting over this "crisis" called a failed relationship. If you do not know how to love yourself, how can you even talk about loving others?

10 comments:

Swirl Yonder said...

great advice -- i like the section about 'the core'

DIXIT M said...

This is the best kinda advice which i never had!!
Thanks a lot!

Srajan said...

very helpful things i have got from this.
thanks

Unknown said...

Dr Lawrence you are truly a blessing:I just wanted to let you know what a wonderful consultation I just had with you Doctor.you are a life (marriage) saver!! you helped me to see that there is definitely hope for my marriage and that my husband is clearly in a midlife crisis. I was getting totally frustrated, but you helped me to see all the positive steps my husband has been taking toward me.I feel so positive now! Thanks Drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

Unknown said...

Dr Lawrence you are truly a blessing:I just wanted to let you know what a wonderful consultation I just had with you Doctor.you are a life (marriage) saver!! you helped me to see that there is definitely hope for my marriage and that my husband is clearly in a midlife crisis. I was getting totally frustrated, but you helped me to see all the positive steps my husband has been taking toward me.I feel so positive now! Thanks Drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

mullar sharron said...

Hi everyone act there.. my name is MULLAR SHARRON I AM FROM GERMANY i will never forget the help DR.TRUST render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how dr.trust help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of dr.trust i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours.he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Dr.trust a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using dr.trust to save my marriage. contact him via (ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OR ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM) tel +2348156885231

mullar sharron said...

Hi everyone act there.. my name is MULLAR SHARRON I AM FROM GERMANY i will never forget the help DR.TRUST render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how dr.trust help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of dr.trust i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours.he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Dr.trust a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using dr.trust to save my marriage. contact him via (ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OR ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM) tel +2348156885231

Anonymous said...

• MY HIV DISEASE WAS CURED BY DR NICE, WITH HIS HERBAL HEALING SPELL/ (drniceharbelhealinghome@gmail.com).DR NICE is the only Dr who could ever get my HIV-AIDS cured with his healing spell, I have tried almost everything but I couldn’t find any solution on my disease, despite all these happening to me, I always spend a lot to buy a HIV drugs from hospital and taking some several medications but no relieve, until one day I was just browsing on the internet when I come across a great post of! Michelle! who truly said that she was been diagnose with HIV and was healed that very week through the help of these great powerful healing spell doctor, sometime I really wonder why people called him DR NICE I never knew it was all because of the great and perfect work that he has been doing that is causing all this. so I quickly contacted him, and he ask me some few questions and he said a thing I will never forget that anyone who contacted him is! always getting his or her healing in just 6 hours after doing all he ask you, so I was amazed all the time I heard that from him, so I did all things only to see that at the very day which he said I will be healed, all the strength that has left me before rush back and I becomes very strong and healthy, this disease almost kills my life all because of me, so I went to hospital to give the final test to the disease and the doctor said I am HIV negative, I am very amazed and happy about the healing Dr NICE gave to me from the ancient part of Africa, you can email him now for your own healing too at :drniceharbelhealinghome@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Hello I am Brittney Lisa ,from USA, I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But when i met a friend that introduced me to Dr iayaryi the great messenger to the oracle of Dr iayaryi solution home,I narrated my problem to Dr iayaryi about how my ex Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in USA were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Dr iayaryi on his personal email address and get all your problems solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: (driayaryi2012@hotmail.com)and get your problems solved like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: (driayaryi2012@hotmail.com)

Refferty Vandor said...

Dear Sir/Ma,

We are genuine certified Financial Instrument providers. Presently, we only focus on BG/SBLC for Lease and purchase purposes. Our Lease BG/SBLC is 4+2% and purchase at 32+2%.

* FOR LEASING OF BG/SBLC
MINIMUM FACE VALUE OF BG/SBLC = EUR/USD 1M
LEASING FEE = 4%+2%

* FOR PURCHASE OF FRESH CUT BG/SBLC
PRICE = 32%+2%
MINIMUM FACE VALUE OF BG/SBLC = EUR/USD 1M

Kindly contact us for our procedures and be sure that we shall respond within 48hrs maximum.

Intermediaries/Consultants/Brokers are welcome to bring their clients and are 100% protected. In complete confidence, we will work together for the benefits of all parties involved.
Rafferty Vandor
E-mail : raffertyvandor@gmail.com
Skype id : raffertyvandor@gmail.com