Fresh Updates

Dear friends.

Truly sorry for the long absence. Well, this period of time, has really been exciting and new challenges are abound.

You see, in chinese saying, there are three major things that a Man will do in his whole life and they are namely, Entering into a new career, Getting married and House shifting. And usually, Man would spread it out at different years of his life.

However, I sorta completed all three in one year. And to add on to the list, I did just one more major thing…just to spice things up. And that is, conversion to a new religion.

So as you can see, it has been truly an interesting year. Details as below.

1) In case you still do not know, I am getting married in Nov. Yes, sorry to break so many hearts but I have finally found my ONE. I am happy, and she is happy (I think…haha. Not easy getting stuck to this Hyper Active man.)

Anyway, there are alot of preparations to be completed. Like guest invitation lists, wedding videos (self-editted and directed, you can call me, Ken Spielberg), booking of venues, honeymoon, etc. I feel that I can even become a wedding planner for other people. Maybe I should consider this option...Part Time. haha.

Well, I would be sending out invitation soon. As it will be a small family and close friend event, I must first apologise if you are not invited to my wedding dinner. However, if you like to join for my Church Wedding, do let me know. It will be on the 4th Nov. Entry requirement would be a 2000 word essay titled, “Why I should be invted to your church wedding.” Top 20 entries will earn an invitation card to my church wedding and the chance to give me ANGBAO. Hahaha.

Ok, enough of jokes. Once again, thank you to all my friends for your well wishes. My wife and I truly appreciate it.

2) House shifting. Yes, I have shifted to a new place and it is less that 3 years ago when I just did a shift. Come to think of it, house shifting seems to be my family hobby. Just alittle info about my new place. It is just a simple HDB. However, my room is a talking point for anyone who visits it. Two reasons:
i) It has a walk-in wardrobe and
ii) It has a toilet with a SEE THROUGH glass door.

The first is just normal as many couples have that nowadays. As for ii), well, let’s just say that no one will dare use it. Mainly because, whichever business you do inside my toilet, is open to viewing by people in my room. So if you don’t mind my staring when you are peeing, by all means, go ahead. Haha.

The only drawback is that it can get alittle bright in the daytime. So I am still finding ways to fix that.

However, I am really happy with this new place. The energy and feel of the place is good. I guess my next shift should be at least 3 years from now.

3) Career shift. I am now working for a large property company as their trainer under one of the subsidiaries. So, from working with children, teens and parents, to now, training adults, and millionaire property agents. A huge shift. But I look forward to the challenges ahead and of course, many opportunities of growth.

For all my past students and friends who have been through my training, I want to thank you for your support and I hope that I may be able to work with you in future again. Particularly if you are keen to enter into the property industry. Otherwise, I can still continue to coach you, if you need, on your personality development. Another of my passion. So do keep in touch and I would be more than happy to guide and advise as best as I can.

4) Religion conversion. I am learning now, on how to be a Catholic. Well, I guess the calling for me has come and the teachings are right for me. However, it is truly a struggle. There are many things which I need to change, particularly my “bad” habits. Lucky, I don’t have much to begin with. HAHAHA. So phew.

Well, it is a beginning of the new spiritual journey for me. However, I am sure it will lead me back to where I was and to where I am meant to be. So wish me luck. I will see you where you were and where you were meant to be too. Maybe different paths, different ways, different directions. But I am sure, we will meet. So let’s journey together.

Alrighty. With all that is said, I guess I would leave you all with two questions to think of before my next post (which I promise, wouldn’t be too late)…

“Are you happy with what you are doing now? If not, what is missing?”

Cheers!
Ken

One video before I go.

Oh oh.

Just one nice video for all to watch.

Enjoy.

:)

Missing In Action

Dear friends.

Apologies for the long absence as this period of time, I would be heavily involved in several huge projects. Which is why, I would need to put down my blogging time for a while.

What huge projects, you may ask...Well, my new house is one. Work. And of course, preparation for my big day.

Please excuse me yoh. :)

I will be back soon.

In the meantime, do register yourself so that once I am back and blogging, you would be notified immediately.

Cheers! and Best wishes!
Ken

Attracting the Wrong Types...Part 3

Dear friends,

As I have mentioned in Part 2, this last part would be on how to know who is the person for you.

I can't say that this is a definite formula...however, what I can say is that I have used this method on people around me to helping them uncover what they want...Especially in finding a suitable person.

So, a little background first.

When you ask your friends or people around you, "Do you know what you WANT in your partner?" or "Do you know what sort of partner you want?"...

The answers would usually be, "I don't know..." or you would get very vague answers from them, which indicates they don't really know.

But don't get mistaken nor give up. These people DO know what they want...It is just that, they don't know how to GET to knowing.

So start, simply ask them, "So what is it that you DON'T WANT in your partner?"

You can be sure, you would get a list of attributes or adjectives from here.

This is also the list that is important towards helping them find out the answers.

Here's how.

Let's take for example, Friend A says, "I don't want my partner to be a jerk. A flirt. I don't want my partner to be a bum also."

So, from here, you would get a list of the following:
1) Jerk.
2) Flirt.
3) Not a Bum.

Next, with each item, just ask, "So, what is a ______ like to you?" (E.g. What is a Jerk like?)

And from here, you would get another list of descriptions. Say, Jerk = irresponsible, vulgar, insensitive, crude, rude, etc.

This list would lead you to doing the last part. Which would be asking, "With those attributes in mind and that you don't want those attributes in your partner, can you now tell me what attributes you want in your partner now?"

And all you need to do with your friend is to simply tackle each adjective said.

For example,
Irresponsible = Responsible
Vulgar = Polite
Insensitive = Sensitive
Crude = Gentle
Rude = Well mannered

And if you want to go further into details, you can even ask your friends for some examples on each attributes, "So, how would you be able to see that this person you want is Responsible? What would he/she do?"

And voila. The process is quite complete. From here, you would have helped your friend to get a detailed description of NOT what your friend don't want, BUT of what your friend wants...with details and examples which he/she can see in real life.

Once again, to summarize it all.

1) Ask what they don't want.
2) For each attribute, ask for descriptions.
3) Following which, ask for the OPPOSITES of each attribute.
4) Get details and even visible examples.

There you have it.

Once again, I must say that this is not the formula. But what I do suggest is maybe you can try it and see whether it would work for you.

BTW, please also tag me or register your email so you can get updates.

Cheers!
Ken

How to be truly happy?

Dear friends,

I suppose that this would be the key question that all human being would ask at least once in their life...for some, maybe this is the only key question they are asking all their life.

To be honest, I don't have the answer either.

What I hope to share is maybe my personal feel and what I experienced over the challenging periods of my life.

I found my answers in a simple phrase. I don't remember where or when I learnt this from. And it goes like this, "Appreciate What You Have, And Not Complain About What You Don't."

For most people, the latter is so much easier to do. Who could blame them? It does feel good that we have people listening to our complaints...and better yet, start a "forum" with them to see who has a better complaint.

I have been through that myself. When my mom was down with her current illness, I complained about life being unfair to a kind lady like her. When my life was in a mess, I complained about why is the world so unfair. When I was down and out, I complained why is it that no one understood me. When I was sick, I complained why I was so unlucky. The list continues.

Well, I must admit, it did feel good to let off all the negativity through complaining. BUT, what I soon noticed is that, the negative feelings usually returns...and sometimes, with more negativity. And I end up, being more unhappy with what's going on in my life.

This, I suppose, is because of the Law of Attraction. Like Attracts Like.

When we complain, what we are actually doing, is not just "releasing" the negative energy. What we fail to notice is that we are also sending out negative energy to the Universe. And the Universe would do what a kind Universe do...Send back more of such energy back at you.

Maybe that's why, people who usually goes through rough patches in their lives, seemingly stays in such rough patches for a long period of time...until some thing or some one comes and "rescue" them. Sometimes, never.

Thus, while complaining gives you the immediate release of negative energy and the "happy" feeling, it is, in my opinion, definitely not the way to true happiness.

As I have said, through the recent years of challenges, I realised that when I chose to see this from another perspective, things almost always get better...When I chose to appreciate more and give thanks.

Take for example, my mom's medical condition. It is something which is beyond my family and I. Not something which we can control or change. So, I can choose to be upset, and unhappy about it. OR, I can choose to be happy that my mom is still alive and that I still have time to spend with her.

So what if she may not understand what I am saying...She can still hear my voice...
So what if she may not be able to tell me exactly what she wants to say...I can still hear speak...
So what if she may not be able to walk...I can still push her around in a wheelchair to where we want to go...
So what if she may not be able to eat properly on her own...I can take care of her, the way she did when I was younger.

And more importantly, I chose to see the love that my family has for her.

From all these wonderful things that I am already bestowed, what's there to complain about?

Same for other aspects of my life...

Come to think of it...I am already blessed with so much.

Cheers!
Ken

Attracting The Wrong Types...Part 2

Good day again.

This posting is a continuation from my previous as some of my friends have requested for more information.

Well, here goes and I hope this is useful.

As previously mentioned, Self Esteem is the key reason for one to keep attracting the wrong types in relationship. And that people with low self esteem would send out different energy as those people with high self esteem.

Recently, a friend of mine came to have a talk with me and we had a discussion about it. I posed her the following questions and interestingly, her answers kind of matched what I had in mind too.

"How would one feel towards him/herself..." and "What would you do or be like"
1) ...if attracting nice and good people is intended?"
2) ...if attracting 'weird' people is intended?" (weird as in, people who seems to like you, but are making you feel awkward or acting weirdly around you. These people make you guess their feelings for you.)
3) ...if attracting (pardon my language) jerks?"

Before I give you the answers I gathered, please do answer these questions and list down what are the feelings that you would have towards yourself, if you were in one of the above three positions.

E.g, I would feel Confident if I want to attract nice and good people. And that I would be friendly and nice.

Next, let's see how many of our answers matches.

For 1)
Feelings => Confident, feel good, passionate, clear, positive, strong.
Do/Be like => Genuinely nice, friendly, caring.

For 2)
Feelings => Nice, Feels like being taken for granted, cautious, unclear, doubting.
Do/Be like => Getting wrong ideas or worried about giving wrong ideas and impression.

For 3)
Feelings => Insecure, desires attention, have alot of wants but afraid of wanting.
Do/Be like => Fun, Flirts (in some cases), loose, party alot, be quiet, self conscious, hiding behind walls or emotional barriers.

I can't say for sure that the above answers may not represent everyone. However, the answers that you give may not be too different as above.

So, as you can see for yourself, there is a similar pattern. Just as my friend did.

And she posed me this question, "So what is it that this person should work on first?"

My straight answer was, "Instead of finding the 'right' person', work on self first."

If you want to attract the right type in your life, you have the be a right type yourself.

If you want to attract the right one for yourself, you have to first be clear and confident about what you want and know you deserve.

If you want to attract the love of your life, you have to first be able to love yourself.

It is that simple.



So the question which you would want to ask yourself is this. "What is it that you want?"

If you answer is "I don't know", then good news. In the next article, I will share with you how to find out what you want.

Til then,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! And may your new year be prosperous and health be with you and your family!!!

Cheers!
Ken

Attracting The Wrong Types...Part 1

We have all seen and heard many stories whereby Girl Meets Guys, thinks she met her dream guy, only to have her heart ripped, torn and shattered to pieces. Girl then moves on. And meets another "dream" guy, only to have the same terrible thing happen to her again. Finally, Girl decides she has had enough of "love". But just as she almost wants to give up, another "dream" guy comes along to sweep her off her feet. And this must be the ONE! But alas...the cycle and drama continues.

On one hand, it would seem that this Girl is unlucky and that she is destined to meet with all the Wrong guys?

But wait, is it truly luck? Or is there some other underlying force that is causing all these?

Ok, I shall not say that I have the ANSWER. But, I am quite sure that what I am about to say, explains the cause of WHY some girls (maybe all) just keep attracting the wrong guys.

Low Self Esteem.

Instinctively, Men has a natural wanting to protect the Opposite sex. And they are drawn to situation where they can show this wonderful ability of theirs. That they are strong, powerful and able to stand up for the ladies.

So what does have to do with Low Self Esteem?

In my opinion, ALOT.

A girl with low self esteem sends out energy that is almost like a S.O.S signal from a sinking ship. This could be done intentionally (when the girl chooses to play victim) or unintentionally (when the girl is in denial of her own predicament).

This energy is naturally received by the men around them and so what happens? Guys instinctively turn hero mode and rescues "damsel in distress". And the relationship turned into a so called fairytale, damsel falls in love with hero while hero feels his ego being rubbed in just the right way when damsel "thank" him by showering attention and love upon him.

However, as time goes by, Guy discovers that his feelings for damsel wasn't love, but something else. That it all started in the wrong way. That what the girl was giving was more that he could receive. And what happens? Guy initiates breakoff with girl and girl just can't understand what went wrong.

In the above case, it would be what I would call a happier scenario, where the guy was unintentional and unaware about what happened and gets into the relationship. Yes, he still hurts the girl. But at least, he keeps the hurt short and sharp.

However, in the sadder cases, guys who are SPECIALISTS in detecting the low self esteem energy from girls and deliberately take advantage of the girls, physically, emotionally and monetarily. And such guys do not let girls go. Continuing the "torture" and inflicting intentional hurt on the poor victim.

I personally, have seen some of my female friends being in such a terrible predicament. And the worse part of it is this. THEY CAN'T LET GO, or REFUSES TO LET GO, despite the whole world telling them that it is all wrong. It is like, if they admit that they have made the wrong mistake, their whole world would crumble and they will die...literally.

Sad, isn't it?

So, ladies, if this has been happening to you or happening to your friend, LISTEN up please.

To overcome this problem and prevent it completely, take a step back and reflect.

A few key questions to ask.
"What do you truly feel about yourself and towards yourself?"
"When you look into the mirror, can you be honest with yourself and claim that you truly deserve a wonderful relationship?"
"Can you even pictured yourself being in a good relationship?"

If the answers to the above question is just a Maybe, or Erm...Then, the answer is in fact, No.

And unless this root problem is fixed, the vicious cycle just keeps going on and on and on. We need to raise the self esteem to a level which would draw the right kind of guys or girls (for some guys, the same problem exists too).

I guess, a good way to sum this all up would be in this next phrase. If you can't love yourself right, others won't either.

Ladies (and some guys). What I hope, that would get across to you is this. Know that it is your birthright to have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship. Nothing and no one would want to stop you from getting into one...No one except you.

So, please decide.

If you are already in a destructive relationship, either physically or emotionally, GET OUT OF IT NOW. You are already dying in it. And getting out is the only way to live again.

Cheers!
Ken

P.S. Apologies for the long delay. Have been really busy lately. Well, if you are asking me about what? Well, two main reasons. One, I am shifting house again. And two...Secret! haha. :P

Thanks for visiting again. :) Will update soon.