Enhancing Communication...Awareness and Acceptance

Good day Friends. :)

Recently just completed several camps where I got to meet with a lot of wonderful campers and resources. Thanks guys, it was great! Please rest while you still can and get ready for 2010. :) Be GREAT!

One of the key things which I have learnt and reinforced over the past weeks was that for better communication, it is not the tools that we use or the words which we say or how we say it. Rather it is how we start our conversation with the other party. And I found that the best way is to start with any conversation with Awareness of Self and Acceptance of Others.

Awareness of Self puts us in a position whereby we become conscious of what we are doing. Instead of REACTING to what others are saying.

Going into a conversation with "what is he going to say", "why is he talking to me this way", "oh no, not again..." Usually starts off the conversation on the wrong foot. This happens when we have perceived ideas of what is going to be said, how it is going to be said and how it is going to affect us...even though it may not be true.

And what's weird is that, somehow, we unconsciously make these perceived ideas come true, thus turning the conversation towards the wrong direction.

Recall your last argument or quarrel. What were you thinking of even before the conversation started?

Thus, Awareness of Self before and throughout the entire conversation is crucial. It gives you control over what you want to say, instead of allowing your EGO to take over and reacting all the time.

The second aspect to work on, is still SELF. It is on working on self to accepting the other person in the conversation. Acceptance of what the other person is saying, expressing and feeling. I suppose this would be the hardest to do, for anyone. However, it could also be the noblest thing one could ever do...not just for the other person, but for yourself.

Can you talk to someone that you dislike and still accept his/her ideas without prejudice and biasness? Can you talk to a stranger and still have the patience to listen, just as you would to your friends? Can you talk to your family members without bringing the past events into the present?

As you would see, it all begins from you.

Effective communication is only possible if we put in the effort in the above two areas.

I could only hope that people who are in a tussle could realise this and come to a resolve through Self Awareness and Acceptance...

Please Give Me Your Blog Addr For Relink. :)

Good day friends.

Please give me your blog addr again for relink. Just redesigned my blog, however, lost every links.

Thanks!

Losing of the EGO is like falling in an endless pit.

Dear friends.

Firstly, CONGRATs for all who have completed the final lap of the year, EXAMS. :)

Do remember, TAKE A BREAK and go have fun. :) You DESERVE IT!!!!

Back to my title...A realisation I gotten through my talk with someone important. :)

"Losing of the EGO is like falling in an endless pit"...

Firstly, what is EGO again? If your remember my last entries, EGO is creating an Identity with Something. Ego creates a perceived Self. Who we think we are. Or what we claim and believe that we are. It is like a "life role" that we assume.

For example, we could assume certain attributes about ourself and say things like, "I am Strong", "I am Creative", "I am Special". And the most common EGO that you get to hear from people would be, "I am right" and "you are wrong."

I must first state that, there is nothing wrong with having EGOs. From the time we were born, our EGOs have served us so that we can "survive" up to today and we are able to function in the current environment.

However, when we assume our EGOs for too long, and forgotten our true self, goodness and essence, that is when, we LOSE OURSELF and problems start to arise.

Conflicts happen when we fight for what we identify as "right". Fights happen when we refuse to accept our own "wrongs". Wars start when we over identify with our ways as the only way.

Just look at the wars over the history of mankind. It has always started because of Super EGOs. Example, World War II was because of Hitler, genocide in Iraq and invasion of Kuwait by Saddam Hussein, genocide in Cambodia by Pol Pot.

However, all is not lost. Once we are able to release our EGOs and start to believe in the true goodness in our true self, and our essence, we usually find ourselves achieving miraculous things that some times surprises even ourselves.

Ask yourself these questions. Weren't there moments when you were so impressed by yourself and what you do? How were you like during those moments? Isn't it true that those are the moments which you feel that you are supported by EVERYTHING around you?

Dear friends, those are the moments which I believe you are in touch with your true self and totally away from your EGO, or perceived self. And that's the reason why, you achieved greatness.

During those moments, you perform at a level that is comparable to great people of human history like Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr, Mother Theresa, Confucius.

That seed of greatness is within you...and everyone around you.

That's the wonderful news.

But the sad news is this. To consciously be working on releasing our EGOs is terribly frightening.

Can you imagine this. To release your EGO can likened to releasing your Defense mechanism completely and exposing your vulnerability to the world? It is like, you are throwing away your survival skills which you have relied on from the day you were born. It is like putting your life in the hands of others, to become like a baby again.

That is how scary it is.

I feel that "falling in an endless pit" describes the feeling nicely. It is like letting go of something that you have been clinging on for dear life and suddenly, you decide to let go and just fall. While falling, the fear just keeps coming and gets stronger because you never know when your doom would come.

AhhhHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT, that's what we must face. That's the fear which we must learn to deal with, if we want to get in touch again with our true self and essence. And once you are in touch with that true self and essence, you find that your fears simply dissolve...All fear simply dissolve and you feel like you are not falling anymore...Rather, you feel like you are just floating...Likened to the feeling of a baby in the mother's womb.

The most powerful thing is that, once you are in touch with your true self and essence. You discover that all along, there is no fear at all. That, you are always loved and supported. That the universe is always behind you. That everything that you need is already around you. You are grounded and present. And more importantly, you are in touch with Being.

Who or what is this being, you may ask...I can't say. But, the closest I can suggest is maybe this.

NOT DEFINITIVE.

In Christianity, when you release the EGO, I suppose that is when you are able to be truly in touch with God. Because, you are in touch with the goodness that is already planted in you from the day you were born. In touch with the love that has been bestowed.

In Buddhism, it is a state of nothingness...Nirvana. Where you stop working on what is truly important in life and not what is transcient and meaningless.

I hope that I have not confused you. However, I am truly excited at my realization today. Have embarked on this journey...Long and Arduous but worth every effort.

:)

PSLE!!!

Dear friends who are taking PSLE.

You will do great. Just remember, stay calm and relax. A relaxed mind and body would enable one to recall information better. Therefore, enough good quality rest and a healthy diet is important too.

I am sure you have done your part and put in hard work for your PSLE. Do your best and great results will follow.

ALL THE BEST!

The Coming Exam Game!

Dear friends,

This post will be short as I know that a lot of you would be busy with your exam preparation.

The only message which I would like to send out to you would be this.

Look straight into the mirror, into that person that is staring back at you. Ask yourself this question..."Have I put in the deserving efforts to make sure I would do well for my exam?"

Wait for 1 min...and listen to your gut, heart and mind. The answer would ensure a good result...if you follow it.

I wish all students...THE BEST for the exams.

Cheers!
Ken