Subjects Of Love

Dear friends

Well, this article spun off from a conversation which I have had with my friends in indon last year. During which, I had a crazy "philopsophy" on the topic love, and how to find the right partner. It is called the Science of Love.

For you to find someone that you love and loves you, it is important that both must share similarities in the following Subjects of Love.

Chemistry
When you are in love, there would be a special chemical reaction in your brain which makes you feel in love. Well, I can't put my finger on it, but different people feels differently when they are in love. And you would be able to sense it yourself. BUT point to note, research done has shown that this chemical reaction in your brain lasts about 18 months. Which would explain why 18 months is a "make it or break it" point for a lot of relationships.
Therefore, while you will feel that everything is "magical" during the so called "honeymoon" period, but do remember to ground yourself in case you make irrational decisions.

Physics
Are you able to emit similar energy that attracts each other? Are you able to feel the same frequency with the other person, and able to communicate at the same wavelength? If you have heard of the Law of Attraction, you would understand Like Attracts Like. What you would be looking for is a balance of energy between you and your other half. Just like Yin and Yang.

Geography
Long distance relationship almost never work out. And this is strongly advised against by the two love gurus, Dr John Gray and Dr Barbara De Angelis. Reason being, in a relationship, it is the PRESENCE that matters, not the presents. Most of long distance relationship are found to never work out. So, if you have someone in mind, and that person is going to be overseas soon, rethink your decision to starting a relationship.

History
Having shared similar past experiences or activities is always a way for building stronger connections with your other half. It is easier to understand and talk to each other. And because you have went through something similar, you will find it easier to related to each other.
For a relationship to be strong, having gone through various UPS and DOWNS in life and coming out of it together is impertinent. Remember, UPS and DOWNS. There are some people who will only be with you during your good times, but when your bad times come, they disappear.

Psychology
The way you think, process information and how you perceive this world you strongly affect the relationship. If a couple are both open to new ideas, then, communication becomes easier, and the channel is smooth. But if one is closed up, and the other tries to barge into the world, challenges arises, and unless the mindset is changed, it is almost impossible to reconcile.

Biology
Well, humans will still have instinctive needs. Therefore, the biological needs plays a key part in a healthy relationship too. The other aspect of biology would be age. A 40 year old man, matched with a 25 year old woman may sound like a wonderful match. But there may be times where the man would not be able to keep up to the woman. E.g. the 25 year old woman may be involved in higher energy activities, such as dancing, sports. But the 40 year old man may not be able to sustain at all.

Language
International language is love...or so they say. But when you are unable to communicate with the other person, or unable to understand your other half, frustration arises. And it builts up.
Imagine the anguish that can happen if your other half speaks a completely different language from you, and can only understand 10-30% of what you are saying. How would you feel?


Anyway, this is just an article that I feel is interesting to share. Something that I have in my mind. haha.

Please feel free to comment and discuss with me.

Cheers!
Ken

Dear friends,

I would like to share this snippet from a book (which Ernest has kindly passed to me) where I read about my Idol, Bruce Lee. Really inspirational especially during times when we feel that "we can't" anymore. Use this little story to remind yourself and to push yourself, always.

Stirling Silliphant (a student of Lee's) relates an interesting story that perfectly embodies Lee's attitude toward progressive resistance in cardiovascular training,
as well as his refusal to let a person-in this case Silliphant -underestimate his own physical potential:

Bruce had me up to three miles a day, really at a good pace. We'd run the three miles in twenty, one or twenty, two minutes. Just under eight minutes a mile

[Note: when running on his own in 1968, Lee would get his time down to six,and,a,half minutes per mile].

So this morning he said to me "We're going to go five."

I said, "Bruce, I can't go five. I'm a helluva lot older than you are, and I can't do five."

He said, "When we get to three, we'll shift gears and it's only two more and you'll do it."
I said "Okay, hell, I'll go for it."

So we get to three, we go into the fourth mile and I'm okay for three or four minutes, and then I really begin to give out. I'm tired, my heart's pounding, I can't go any more and so I say to him, "Bruce if I run any more, "-and we're still
running-"if I run any more I'm liable to have a heart attack and die."

He said, "Then die." It made me so mad that I went the full five miles. Afterward I went to the shower and then I wanted to talk to him about it.

I said, you know, '''Why did you say that?"

He said, "Because you might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or any, thing else, it'll spread over into the rest of your life. It'll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level."

(Taken from "The Art Of Expressing The Human Body")

So, when things seem daunting, and times are bad. Or when you seem helpless or ready to give up...remember, it is just a Plateau. PUSH BEYOND THAT.

Cheers!

New Earth Inspiration - Flapping Ducks

Dear friends,

Some of you may be curious to read the title, Flapping Ducks. Well, just a little something (yet profound) which I would like to share with you, something that I learnt from the wonderful book, A New Earth.

In the book, Mr Eckhart Tolle wrote on his observations on ducks. He noted that immediately after two ducks finishes a fight, they would swim away in separate directions, flap their wings vigorously and then float around as if nothing has happened. And he explained that through flapping their wings, the ducks were able to release all the negative energy that was built up during the fight and they do it immediately. So, the ducks are able to revert to the calm state almost immediately.

Imagine, how wonderful it would be if we can do the same. But alas...alot of us can't do it. Or rather, we "chose" not to.

Everyday of our lives, we face challenges, quarrels or fights and huge amounts of negative energy and emotions are built up within us. And more often than not, we keep that energy in us and that energy grows, to the point of hurting us in the end. Question to ponder over, is it worth it?

Of course not. But the strange thing is, the one who allows the hurt to grow and to build up, is none other than ourselves. It is we that who are not willing to forgive, to let go and to forget. Why? It all goes back to our EGO, the identification with things, whether tangible or intangible.

Think about it, unless involves the safety and future of another, a fight (either emotionally, physically or verbally) is usually started because we feel that something is right and we are defending it against another. It is usually started because of a clash of what you believe in, and what the other party believes in.

"It's mine."
"You're wrong."
"That's not true."
"I am correct."
"I don't agree with that."
"I am offended."
"What're you talking about?"
"That's absurd."
"Oh, why can't you shut up."

And to make matters worse, even after when the fight is finished, your mind still holds the scenes of the fight, repeating it in your mind, again and again and again and again.

Recall...all the fights you have ever had...and you would see that this is so true.

But the question is...Is what you think truly right? Is what the other person says, truly wrong? How certain are you? Could it be possible that, there could be flaws in your own ideas? Could it be possible that, there could be truth in the other person's thoughts?

And unless you are arguing about the natural laws of life (like gravity, heat, earth revolving around the sun, aging, etc), can you really be so certain that your way is the right way? And if not, is there truly a need for the fight in the first place?

What I would just like to ask, is it worth getting upset, hurt, angry or sad just to win an argument or fight? Is it worth hurting and upsetting another just to get your point across? If it doesn't hurt anyone, wouldn't it be better to just turn your back and leave the fight? And if the fight has already happened, wouldn't it be better to just be like the ducks, flap yours wings, clear all the negative energy and just move on?

What is more important? Your health or your EGO?

You decide.

Cheers!
Ken

Photos Part 2

This is when we went up to the Pearl of Lake Toba.
A beautiful place which overlooks Lake Toba.

Below is the supposedly main building. And I was standing in the midst of the Organic Farm. Fresh Veges.

The view around the main building.

And this is Lake Toba, viewed from atop. Great view.

This is where they intend to build cottages...right smack in the forest.

A mini waterfall with an adorable man posing right infront. haha.

For this pic, I got drenched...Ah chooo.

The wooden stairs leading up to the cottages.

The little stream in front of the cottages.

Below is the Marquisa (passion fruit) garden. You can just go right in and pluck whichever fruit that catches your fancy.

The flower...really beautiful.

The fruit.

Pictures To Share.

Dear friends,

Below are some of the pictures which are taken during my trip to Medan and Jakarta. Enjoy.

First up, the airport of Medan.

A small and cosy little international airport with only 2-3 luggage lanes. :)

First stop, was breakfast. Curry Bee Hoon. Just look at the stall and where the food are being prepared. In the back alley. Cool!

Main lobby of the hotel. New hotel, and very cosy.

The lounge.

The best place of the hotel...Our ROOM. haha. A suite that is very nicely furnished. Overlooks the swimming pool.

And just behind the Hotel is this drain (or river). As you can see, there are people in the middle of the river washing their clothes. They also shower, wash, drink and clear their bodily waste in the same river.

This pic is of a little marsh that is just behind where Novi stays. Right behind a row of houses. The great thing is that there is an abundance of fishes in the water, king fishers and birds in this area. I won't be surprised if I find Crocs or snakes here too. A nice habitat for wildlife, just next to a residential area.

And just 300m away is this grand temple. Really beautifully built.

After touring of the area, we had a dinner buffet. Guess the price? It was at just 35000 rp each. That's just around 4 SGD. And it is all you can eat. Just look at the spread.

End of Part 1.

More to come.