We have all seen and heard many stories whereby Girl Meets Guys, thinks she met her dream guy, only to have her heart ripped, torn and shattered to pieces. Girl then moves on. And meets another "dream" guy, only to have the same terrible thing happen to her again. Finally, Girl decides she has had enough of "love". But just as she almost wants to give up, another "dream" guy comes along to sweep her off her feet. And this must be the ONE! But alas...the cycle and drama continues.
On one hand, it would seem that this Girl is unlucky and that she is destined to meet with all the Wrong guys?
But wait, is it truly luck? Or is there some other underlying force that is causing all these?
Ok, I shall not say that I have the ANSWER. But, I am quite sure that what I am about to say, explains the cause of WHY some girls (maybe all) just keep attracting the wrong guys.
Low Self Esteem.
Instinctively, Men has a natural wanting to protect the Opposite sex. And they are drawn to situation where they can show this wonderful ability of theirs. That they are strong, powerful and able to stand up for the ladies.
So what does have to do with Low Self Esteem?
In my opinion, ALOT.
A girl with low self esteem sends out energy that is almost like a S.O.S signal from a sinking ship. This could be done intentionally (when the girl chooses to play victim) or unintentionally (when the girl is in denial of her own predicament).
This energy is naturally received by the men around them and so what happens? Guys instinctively turn hero mode and rescues "damsel in distress". And the relationship turned into a so called fairytale, damsel falls in love with hero while hero feels his ego being rubbed in just the right way when damsel "thank" him by showering attention and love upon him.
However, as time goes by, Guy discovers that his feelings for damsel wasn't love, but something else. That it all started in the wrong way. That what the girl was giving was more that he could receive. And what happens? Guy initiates breakoff with girl and girl just can't understand what went wrong.
In the above case, it would be what I would call a happier scenario, where the guy was unintentional and unaware about what happened and gets into the relationship. Yes, he still hurts the girl. But at least, he keeps the hurt short and sharp.
However, in the sadder cases, guys who are SPECIALISTS in detecting the low self esteem energy from girls and deliberately take advantage of the girls, physically, emotionally and monetarily. And such guys do not let girls go. Continuing the "torture" and inflicting intentional hurt on the poor victim.
I personally, have seen some of my female friends being in such a terrible predicament. And the worse part of it is this. THEY CAN'T LET GO, or REFUSES TO LET GO, despite the whole world telling them that it is all wrong. It is like, if they admit that they have made the wrong mistake, their whole world would crumble and they will die...literally.
Sad, isn't it?
So, ladies, if this has been happening to you or happening to your friend, LISTEN up please.
To overcome this problem and prevent it completely, take a step back and reflect.
A few key questions to ask.
"What do you truly feel about yourself and towards yourself?"
"When you look into the mirror, can you be honest with yourself and claim that you truly deserve a wonderful relationship?"
"Can you even pictured yourself being in a good relationship?"
If the answers to the above question is just a Maybe, or Erm...Then, the answer is in fact, No.
And unless this root problem is fixed, the vicious cycle just keeps going on and on and on. We need to raise the self esteem to a level which would draw the right kind of guys or girls (for some guys, the same problem exists too).
I guess, a good way to sum this all up would be in this next phrase. If you can't love yourself right, others won't either.
Ladies (and some guys). What I hope, that would get across to you is this. Know that it is your birthright to have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship. Nothing and no one would want to stop you from getting into one...No one except you.
So, please decide.
If you are already in a destructive relationship, either physically or emotionally, GET OUT OF IT NOW. You are already dying in it. And getting out is the only way to live again.
Cheers!
Ken
P.S. Apologies for the long delay. Have been really busy lately. Well, if you are asking me about what? Well, two main reasons. One, I am shifting house again. And two...Secret! haha. :P
Thanks for visiting again. :) Will update soon.
2 years ago
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