Recently just completed several camps where I got to meet with a lot of wonderful campers and resources. Thanks guys, it was great! Please rest while you still can and get ready for 2010. :) Be GREAT!
One of the key things which I have learnt and reinforced over the past weeks was that for better communication, it is not the tools that we use or the words which we say or how we say it. Rather it is how we start our conversation with the other party. And I found that the best way is to start with any conversation with Awareness of Self and Acceptance of Others.
Awareness of Self puts us in a position whereby we become conscious of what we are doing. Instead of REACTING to what others are saying.
Going into a conversation with "what is he going to say", "why is he talking to me this way", "oh no, not again..." Usually starts off the conversation on the wrong foot. This happens when we have perceived ideas of what is going to be said, how it is going to be said and how it is going to affect us...even though it may not be true.
And what's weird is that, somehow, we unconsciously make these perceived ideas come true, thus turning the conversation towards the wrong direction.
Recall your last argument or quarrel. What were you thinking of even before the conversation started?
Thus, Awareness of Self before and throughout the entire conversation is crucial. It gives you control over what you want to say, instead of allowing your EGO to take over and reacting all the time.
The second aspect to work on, is still SELF. It is on working on self to accepting the other person in the conversation. Acceptance of what the other person is saying, expressing and feeling. I suppose this would be the hardest to do, for anyone. However, it could also be the noblest thing one could ever do...not just for the other person, but for yourself.
Can you talk to someone that you dislike and still accept his/her ideas without prejudice and biasness? Can you talk to a stranger and still have the patience to listen, just as you would to your friends? Can you talk to your family members without bringing the past events into the present?
As you would see, it all begins from you.
Effective communication is only possible if we put in the effort in the above two areas.
I could only hope that people who are in a tussle could realise this and come to a resolve through Self Awareness and Acceptance...
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