Cambodia Pictures.

Dear Friends

I have uploaded my pictures (part of it) to Facebook. The link is below.

Part 1
http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=748362714#/album.php?aid=90420&id=592301045&ref=nf

Part 2
http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=748362714#/album.php?aid=90420&id=592301045&ref=nf

Enjoy. Will upload more tonight. :)

An Hour To Live, An Hour To Love.

Dear Friends.

As I mentioned in my last blog, I would write something about the book "An Hour To Live, An Hour To Love" By Richard and Kristine Carlson. So here goes.

Firstly, I strongly recommend all to read this book. The message inside is truly meaningful and sets your thinking, whether we are chasing the right things in life and missing out on what's truly magical and important.

A little background into the book.

3 years before the Richard's 18th wedding anniversary, he wrote a letter titled "An Hour To Live" and intended to give it to his wife during the anniversary.

And the book started with this letter, where Richard expresses his feelings and thoughts for all the things which he is grateful for and blessed with, particularly the love that he and his wife, Kristine, shares. It was the most wonderful and memorable gift ever given to Kristine.

Sadly, Richard passed away suddenly during a flight.

To continue his wishes and to spread his love, Kristine decided to complete this "book" with the second half called, "An Hour To Love". Thus the title, An Hour To Live, And Hour To love.

I shall not divuldge too much about what was written. But, I would like to share Richard's favourite Poem, which is also included in the book. (Note: Poem seems to have two sources, which I can't verify. But in the book, it is said to be written by Norma Cornett Marek for her son, while I found sources which says it is written by Dr H Solomon. If you can confirm, please let me know which is accurate? Thanks!)

DO GET THIS BOOK! You will love it. :)

Thanks to Pris for introducing this great book to me.

If I Knew or Tomorrow Never Comes

If I knew it would be the last time
That I’d see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say “I love you,”
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
well I’m sure you’ll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there’s always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say “I love you,”
And certainly there’s another chance
to say our “Anything I can do?”

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I’d like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you’re waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll surely regret the day,

That you didn’t take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you’ll always hold them dear

Take time to say “I’m sorry,”
“Please forgive me,” “Thank you,” or “It’s okay.”
And if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll have no regrets about today.

Dedicated To My Dad.

Dear friends,

This blog is dedicated to my dad.

The past few years of our lives have been filled with many challenges, emotionally, mentally and physically. But it was also because of all these challenges which showed me the love that my father has for my mom.

You see, my mom is down with an illness which is called Cortical Basal Degeneration. Basically, a portion of her brain is degenerating and affects her mind, and basically everything from her speech, balance to movement. Basically, nothing can be done to help her. Maybe just prayers after prayers.

Well, it is heart-wrenching to see how the condition of my mom developed over the years. And my dad would probably be the most heartbroken of all, though he doesn't show it.

My dad is a typical conservative chinese from the post WW2 period. Tradition and non-expressive when it comes to feelings and emotions. I even remember times when the children asked him questions about his relationship with mom and he would start to turn "shy", laugh it off and put up his usual strong front again.

So, talking to my dad about feelings and emotions would be quite tough for the entire family. In my whole life, I have only seen my dad cried once. That was when my grand father passed away in China.

However, I guess that since the time my mother's condition was diagnosed, and the few times when my mom suffered some major falls, my dad was crying inside his heart and was angry with himself for what is happening to my mom.

Now, my dad would take my mom to the toilet, help her with change of clothes, cook for and feed her, use the dryer to dry my mom's hair, wheel her around and support her in and out of the car. BUT, he is not doing this out of pity, sympathy or responsibility to my mom.

He is doing this out of love for my mom.

I respect my dad for that. He truly has an undying love for my mom.

I must apologise that, at this point in time, I do not know how I would want to continue with this.

This feels like a random blabbering on my part.

I guess the only thing which I hope for, for everyone reading this is that, that such love still exists. And there is such a person who would love you 100%, out there for you. You just need to put in effort to search for that person.

All the best.
Regards,
Ken

BTW, for the next post, I am inspired to write based on this book, "An Hour To Live, An Hour To Love", by the late Mr Richard Carlson. A friend of mine was sharing this story with me. So, just to set you thinking, if you know you have only one hour left to live in this world, who would you call? What would you do?

5 Languages Of Love

Dear friends,

Apologies that is has been such a long while since I blogged. But had been really tight with working on my book. Really excited about it and when it is out, I humbly ask for your support to help spread the word. Of course, it will be a great book!

Anyway, back to the topic of the day.

Recently, Pris introduced me to the "5 Languages Of Love" by Dr Gary Chapman and I found it really interesting. I got alot of realisation from it. I would like you to read through and see what insights it gives you on relationship will your parents, your other half and those around you (I do consider those relationship to contain love too).

Here's the snippet taken from Dr Gary's site. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html

Quality Time

Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

Receiving Gifts

Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

Acts of Service

Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

Physical Touch

Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.

Now, at this point, the key questions that I would like to pose to you would be this.

If you can choose 2 out of the 5, which 2 would it be that you NEED most from your other half?

And which are the 2 you give?

I shall not explain too much. But I will just leave you with some more questions.

1) If your 2 needs and the other's 2 gives doesn't match, what may happen? What needs to be done?

2) And vice versa.

Alrighty.

Gotta go. Am really tired. Just spent 5 hours on my book at Mac Donald's and it is already 1am. But, I am really happy. :) I have received good comments from Ernest on how to improve on my books. So implementing them now.

Well, good night all.

Regards,

Ken

Subjects Of Love

Dear friends

Well, this article spun off from a conversation which I have had with my friends in indon last year. During which, I had a crazy "philopsophy" on the topic love, and how to find the right partner. It is called the Science of Love.

For you to find someone that you love and loves you, it is important that both must share similarities in the following Subjects of Love.

Chemistry
When you are in love, there would be a special chemical reaction in your brain which makes you feel in love. Well, I can't put my finger on it, but different people feels differently when they are in love. And you would be able to sense it yourself. BUT point to note, research done has shown that this chemical reaction in your brain lasts about 18 months. Which would explain why 18 months is a "make it or break it" point for a lot of relationships.
Therefore, while you will feel that everything is "magical" during the so called "honeymoon" period, but do remember to ground yourself in case you make irrational decisions.

Physics
Are you able to emit similar energy that attracts each other? Are you able to feel the same frequency with the other person, and able to communicate at the same wavelength? If you have heard of the Law of Attraction, you would understand Like Attracts Like. What you would be looking for is a balance of energy between you and your other half. Just like Yin and Yang.

Geography
Long distance relationship almost never work out. And this is strongly advised against by the two love gurus, Dr John Gray and Dr Barbara De Angelis. Reason being, in a relationship, it is the PRESENCE that matters, not the presents. Most of long distance relationship are found to never work out. So, if you have someone in mind, and that person is going to be overseas soon, rethink your decision to starting a relationship.

History
Having shared similar past experiences or activities is always a way for building stronger connections with your other half. It is easier to understand and talk to each other. And because you have went through something similar, you will find it easier to related to each other.
For a relationship to be strong, having gone through various UPS and DOWNS in life and coming out of it together is impertinent. Remember, UPS and DOWNS. There are some people who will only be with you during your good times, but when your bad times come, they disappear.

Psychology
The way you think, process information and how you perceive this world you strongly affect the relationship. If a couple are both open to new ideas, then, communication becomes easier, and the channel is smooth. But if one is closed up, and the other tries to barge into the world, challenges arises, and unless the mindset is changed, it is almost impossible to reconcile.

Biology
Well, humans will still have instinctive needs. Therefore, the biological needs plays a key part in a healthy relationship too. The other aspect of biology would be age. A 40 year old man, matched with a 25 year old woman may sound like a wonderful match. But there may be times where the man would not be able to keep up to the woman. E.g. the 25 year old woman may be involved in higher energy activities, such as dancing, sports. But the 40 year old man may not be able to sustain at all.

Language
International language is love...or so they say. But when you are unable to communicate with the other person, or unable to understand your other half, frustration arises. And it builts up.
Imagine the anguish that can happen if your other half speaks a completely different language from you, and can only understand 10-30% of what you are saying. How would you feel?


Anyway, this is just an article that I feel is interesting to share. Something that I have in my mind. haha.

Please feel free to comment and discuss with me.

Cheers!
Ken