Attracting The Wrong Types...Part 2

Good day again.

This posting is a continuation from my previous as some of my friends have requested for more information.

Well, here goes and I hope this is useful.

As previously mentioned, Self Esteem is the key reason for one to keep attracting the wrong types in relationship. And that people with low self esteem would send out different energy as those people with high self esteem.

Recently, a friend of mine came to have a talk with me and we had a discussion about it. I posed her the following questions and interestingly, her answers kind of matched what I had in mind too.

"How would one feel towards him/herself..." and "What would you do or be like"
1) ...if attracting nice and good people is intended?"
2) ...if attracting 'weird' people is intended?" (weird as in, people who seems to like you, but are making you feel awkward or acting weirdly around you. These people make you guess their feelings for you.)
3) ...if attracting (pardon my language) jerks?"

Before I give you the answers I gathered, please do answer these questions and list down what are the feelings that you would have towards yourself, if you were in one of the above three positions.

E.g, I would feel Confident if I want to attract nice and good people. And that I would be friendly and nice.

Next, let's see how many of our answers matches.

For 1)
Feelings => Confident, feel good, passionate, clear, positive, strong.
Do/Be like => Genuinely nice, friendly, caring.

For 2)
Feelings => Nice, Feels like being taken for granted, cautious, unclear, doubting.
Do/Be like => Getting wrong ideas or worried about giving wrong ideas and impression.

For 3)
Feelings => Insecure, desires attention, have alot of wants but afraid of wanting.
Do/Be like => Fun, Flirts (in some cases), loose, party alot, be quiet, self conscious, hiding behind walls or emotional barriers.

I can't say for sure that the above answers may not represent everyone. However, the answers that you give may not be too different as above.

So, as you can see for yourself, there is a similar pattern. Just as my friend did.

And she posed me this question, "So what is it that this person should work on first?"

My straight answer was, "Instead of finding the 'right' person', work on self first."

If you want to attract the right type in your life, you have the be a right type yourself.

If you want to attract the right one for yourself, you have to first be clear and confident about what you want and know you deserve.

If you want to attract the love of your life, you have to first be able to love yourself.

It is that simple.



So the question which you would want to ask yourself is this. "What is it that you want?"

If you answer is "I don't know", then good news. In the next article, I will share with you how to find out what you want.

Til then,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! And may your new year be prosperous and health be with you and your family!!!

Cheers!
Ken

Subjects Of Love

Dear friends

Well, this article spun off from a conversation which I have had with my friends in indon last year. During which, I had a crazy "philopsophy" on the topic love, and how to find the right partner. It is called the Science of Love.

For you to find someone that you love and loves you, it is important that both must share similarities in the following Subjects of Love.

Chemistry
When you are in love, there would be a special chemical reaction in your brain which makes you feel in love. Well, I can't put my finger on it, but different people feels differently when they are in love. And you would be able to sense it yourself. BUT point to note, research done has shown that this chemical reaction in your brain lasts about 18 months. Which would explain why 18 months is a "make it or break it" point for a lot of relationships.
Therefore, while you will feel that everything is "magical" during the so called "honeymoon" period, but do remember to ground yourself in case you make irrational decisions.

Physics
Are you able to emit similar energy that attracts each other? Are you able to feel the same frequency with the other person, and able to communicate at the same wavelength? If you have heard of the Law of Attraction, you would understand Like Attracts Like. What you would be looking for is a balance of energy between you and your other half. Just like Yin and Yang.

Geography
Long distance relationship almost never work out. And this is strongly advised against by the two love gurus, Dr John Gray and Dr Barbara De Angelis. Reason being, in a relationship, it is the PRESENCE that matters, not the presents. Most of long distance relationship are found to never work out. So, if you have someone in mind, and that person is going to be overseas soon, rethink your decision to starting a relationship.

History
Having shared similar past experiences or activities is always a way for building stronger connections with your other half. It is easier to understand and talk to each other. And because you have went through something similar, you will find it easier to related to each other.
For a relationship to be strong, having gone through various UPS and DOWNS in life and coming out of it together is impertinent. Remember, UPS and DOWNS. There are some people who will only be with you during your good times, but when your bad times come, they disappear.

Psychology
The way you think, process information and how you perceive this world you strongly affect the relationship. If a couple are both open to new ideas, then, communication becomes easier, and the channel is smooth. But if one is closed up, and the other tries to barge into the world, challenges arises, and unless the mindset is changed, it is almost impossible to reconcile.

Biology
Well, humans will still have instinctive needs. Therefore, the biological needs plays a key part in a healthy relationship too. The other aspect of biology would be age. A 40 year old man, matched with a 25 year old woman may sound like a wonderful match. But there may be times where the man would not be able to keep up to the woman. E.g. the 25 year old woman may be involved in higher energy activities, such as dancing, sports. But the 40 year old man may not be able to sustain at all.

Language
International language is love...or so they say. But when you are unable to communicate with the other person, or unable to understand your other half, frustration arises. And it builts up.
Imagine the anguish that can happen if your other half speaks a completely different language from you, and can only understand 10-30% of what you are saying. How would you feel?


Anyway, this is just an article that I feel is interesting to share. Something that I have in my mind. haha.

Please feel free to comment and discuss with me.

Cheers!
Ken