Love Is A Behaviour...Feelings Come After The Behaviour.

The above title was taken from the 5 languages of love. And I felt that it was appropriate that I continued to add on to the previous two articles which I wrote based on this great book.

In the book, it is said that love is a behaviour and it is this behaviour which creates the feeling. Yes, Love is a type of behaviour and choice that you make, and this choice would create the feeling of you being in love with the other person.

It is true that there is a feeling of being in love. Scientifically, it is proven that during the "In Love" period, three neurotransmitters of your brain are highly active, namely Adrenaline, Dopamine and Serotonin. These three work together and gives you a natural high, thus, the feeling of being "In Love".

In this period of time, you see all the amazing things about your other half. And when you do see something which is wrong/not right, the phrase "love conquers all" comes into play.

But, the key thing to note that these reactions in the brain lasts for about 18 months. Following which, all the amazing things which your other half was doing suddenly seems to irritate you alittle. And all the things which were wrong/not right, suddenly seems to be sooooooooo WRONG. The way he sits, walks, talks. The way she answers, eat, sleep. Everything that you were "blind" to in the past, are now a pain in your neck.

For some, it is earlier, some later. But the important thing to note is that, you can't rely on chemical reactions to keep a relationship going, just as you can't rely on enhancement drugs to better your performance in sports.

So, how do you sustain this relationship?

The key word which I have learned would be COMMITMENT.

And it has to start from the beginning of the relationship, to the day that we die. It is about commitment.

E.g.
"Will you stand by _______________, care for her, hold her in the highest regard and die with this love you have for her untarnished in your heart?
Will you stand by _____________, care for him, hold him in the highest regard, and die with this love you have for him untarnished in your heart?"

As you can see from the above example of a wedding minister's script, it boils down to asking the wedding couple to make the decision about their holy matrimony.

And for this decision to last, it definitely takes COMMITMENT.

Yes, commitment to say that there is only this one way. Commitment to say that I WILL, MUST AND SHALL make this relationship work. Commitment to say that all the things which I do shall contribute towards making the relationship better and stronger...until I die.

I am glad to say that, I have had the fortune of seeing relationships around me becoming stronger and stronger over the years, because of the same commitment both parties have for each other and their relationship.

However, I have also seen relationships breaking apart simply because one or both parties have stopped committing to making their relationship work. They, so to speak, "forgot" about this commitment they have made and replaced it with other more important things.

Well, if you were to ask me, is there really the ONE for you out there? Well, my answer would be...You make that person you love, YOUR ONE. It is your choice. And if your other half has also made the same choice, then, I am sure your relationship would be great and grow through the years. This same commitment that you both have, is the ingredient to making each other, THE ONE.

However, do be careful of your choice. :) Do not foolishly commit to a relationship when you already sense or know that your other half has one foot out the door.

That's the end of this long article. :)

Well, I do hope to hear from you about your comments or questions. Please leave a message. BTW, please also register on the right. I will have more articles soon.

Cheers!
Ken

How To Ace Chemistry?

This Article is for those students whom are asking about how to do better in "O" levels Chemistry. I hope to share some insight on what you can do to improve on your Chem.

One important key that all Chem students must know is that, this is a subject whereby you need to build a strong foundation before moving up to the next level. It is a subject whereby the earlier topics are more important as the latter subjects. Without the basics, you would definitely have difficulties. DEFINITELY.

So, it is of the utmost importance that you must review your notes and textbooks of Chem for Chapter 1 - Chap 8 (up until Atomic Structure, Electrons, charges, Reactivity series and why certain element are more reactive/less reactive, Periodic table arrangement, etc).
Now, while this may sound like a lot of work. BUT, once this portion is done, the rest of the chapters will become soooo much easier. So, it is definitely worth your investment of time and effort.

Now, why is it that Chap 1-8 is important? Let me give you an example.

In the latter chapter of Ionic bonding and Covalent bonding, what is it actually talking about? It is talking about the reactivity of the metals and non metals, and how they will bond together. BUT, if you chunk down further, it is testing more of your understanding of the periodic table arrangement and electrons . It is because of the lack or additional number of electrons which causes the instability, which explains the reactivity level (Cation / Anion).

(Just an interesting note for you, reactivity can be equated to the insecurity of human beings. The more things (in Chem, it will be electrons) that a human (elements, metals or non-metals) is missing, the more this human wants to bond (either sharing or taking of electrons) with others. But if this human has extra, then, this human will only feel secure through giving aways or share with others all the extra things. See if this helps you to understand Bonding better.)

So, imagine if you don't even know how the periodic table is arranged, what electrons are, what is missing, whether is it a metal or non-metal, do you think you can answer the questions properly? Obviously no.

Another example would be Oxidation and Reduction. One was of seeing whether it is Oxi or Red is whether there is loss or gain of electrons. So, what is the basic topic of this chapter again? Back to Chapter 1-8 again. If you don't understand the electrons, and how to identify, you would definitely face challenges.

To score an A for O Levels Chemistry, is very easy, and you just need to do your work on a daily basis. Take the next 8 days, focus on doing well in your basics, in the first 8 chapters (or up until Atomic structure, depending on which text you are using). Upon completion of this part, you can be sure of easier path ahead in your studying of Chem.

Now, if you are keen to know how you can guarantee an A for your Chem, drop me a message here.


Ken Koh is the Co-Trainer and Consultant of the highly successful Super Teens Holiday Camp and Smart Kid Training workshop. He has positively impacted the lives and personally coached over 15,000 students from Singapore, Malaysia, China and Indonesia. Ken is one of the rare few in Singapore to be personally trained and coached by Dr Ernest Wong. For more information, please visit www.learningmastery.com.